I think Nee's right.

Too much feedback at this point probably would slow me down, too Because I'm just like her--I want to get it all down on paper as soon as I can.

And her feedback is always so inspiring that I will sit and ponder it, how to add it in, how to make what I've got work with the new stuff, then it takes me longer to keep going.

And, too, from one writing session (in which I think "No more changes on that part") to the next session, I'll have thought of a few tweaks that need to be made. So I know it's hard to be going back over and over analyzing it for me.

I just need an attack of the squirrels if I fall behind my schedule. From Nee or westexgirl.

I sent my thoughts on LNR as more of an attack on the squirrels as much as anything else. I wanted her to know I was happy to get the goods and wanting to see more. And I know she is swamped with life, so any writing right now is a bonus. Just put my comments aside and then pull them out when you've got to where you want to be then it'll be like "Oh, what was Kee thinking. None of this works with what I have now!"

Then you can have a laugh about it with your publisher. hee hee hee

So far so good on the writing front. Kee has been sticking to her Monday/Wednesday schedule and getting the words out. I have been writing more sporadically, but there have been words, so I consider that progress.

Kee has just sent me some excellent feedback on LNR, but that got me to thinking about our email exchange. Back when I started busting Kee's chops about sending me her work, I don't think I pictured our exchange as a mini-critique group, at least not yet. I was worried that dealing with critiques would be a ready-made excuse for dithering and not writing. So while I appreciate the feedback, Kee, you don't have to bother with it yet if you don't feel like it. For my part, I just want to get the story down on paper to a level I am satisfied with before sending it out into the cruel world; right now, sending LNR to you is an accountability thing for me. So I am going to file away the email you sent me and pull it out when I get to the end of LNR.

But that doesn't mean you have to do it my way, Kee. If you are hoping for more feedback on your end, just let me know.

And now I am off to avoid my paper some more.

I had 20 minutes to kill at the end of my office hour this morning, so I worked on polishing up what I already had on Late Night Radio and sent it off to Kee. I've written up two long-ish blog posts over the last two days, so this is really quite a bit of writing for me. The Vale story is offering up bits, too, so maybe I'll work on that until Avatar comes on.

I'm rockin' and rollin' and what not.

I think what I sent tonight will be the end of the first part. It's only six pages, but I don't think I want to label it as a prologue even though there will be a lapse in time frame. I think I can transition it okay without a funny header that says..." and six weeks later." I think that's the cheesy way out.

I might change my mind though once I try to actually do it. So I might actually be done with a Chapter One.

But let's not hold our breaths just yet.

Just a quick check-in.

Kee sent me her work for Monday. I expect to see her work for today, Wednesday, in my inbox tomorrow (thanks to a 7-hour time difference). That means no goofing off and no excuses!

I started typing up my Vale story but realized I needed to flesh it out, etc., so the amount typed doesn't match my handwritten first draft. I often find myself editing as I type, but it doesn't bother me.

I've also been revising LNR and am pleased with the results so far. Maybe someday I'll be satisfied enough to stop changing things, but I'm afraid I'm probably a long way from there.

I still have this paper hanging over my head, but I'm not panicking yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Ladies, I need you. Like just a "Yeah, I got your goods. If you fail to send me your next installment, I will send a crate of rabid squirrels to attack you." Eh, something along those lines. Just to let me know I can't goof off. And I have REALLY been wanting to. I am such a woosy.

I am pooped. Going to bed but wanted to let you know I did send in my work.

It's always easier in theory than when I actually sit down to do it.

Sorry for the lack of posting. I've had the blahs lately, and sometimes you just have to wallow in that for a while.

Kee has been very good about sticking to her writing schedule and then sending on the results to WesTexGirl and me. I sent her a few ideas re: "where do I go from here" via email, so I hope she is mulling over her next step for the next writing day.

I only managed to keep up with her one writing day out of two, but the volume was lower. Now I'm at the step of "what next"; my brain reacts to that by thinking about other stories on the back burner, so I drug one out (actually, scooped it off the floor next to my bed) to type up and send off. We'll see if it is as good as I thought when I wrote it. *g*

I still have a paper to write (the shame!), but I went back to a similar paper I wrote in the English department, and it totally didn't suck! Yay me! I still don't know how I'm going to parlay it into a paper in German, but I'm still thinking about it--a lot for someone who is in avoidance mode.

John is off on a wine-tasting tour, and Hannah is at a slumber party, so maybe I will use this afternoon to do something resembling work, and goof off this evening with some deliciously bad videos that John will never watch with me. *where's that copy of Crybaby?*

I have been a good girl and posted my stuff to my seestor and westexgirl. I surprised myself with sticking with it today. I ended up losing the train of thought I had on the treadmill by the time I got home (must not have been that good anyway) and I seemed to get stuck after a couple of lines. I bet I re-wrote that part 10 times. But I kept at it and really liked what I ended up with (which was more than I thought I would get done today). I kinda completed my opening thoughts and have some symmetry there I like. Now it will just be figuring out what's supposed to go next!!!

I got a little work done today. Not much, but enough to satisfy myself (and others, I hope) that I am sticking to my goals. I did have some thoughts about goofing off, but, alas, did not follow through with it.

Instead, I went to the gym, did my concentrated thinking on the treadmill, and then delivered Ma her chocolate. (Which she said has made a big diff in her cholesterol-according to the doc report this week.) Then, when I got home I pulled out the goodies from my walk and added it in.

It kinda is more at this point than what I had planned on putting at the beginning when I decided to go this angle, but I think it works. I was glad to see you put in words from my last report what I had been able to convey so far. It was kinda how I was thinking about it up to that point, too. It's strange how much more I felt I was able to convey in such a short amount of actual words than before. I felt I had improved from being able to set up a physical scene to conveying some background emotions and character traits.

One thing to note. I have deliberately not told his name at this point. I'm still waiting to see where I will put it. Maybe I'll know Wednesday.

I am going to tweek a bit and then send it off. Goodnight.

Kee sent her Wednesday writing to me and WesTexGirl as promised, and I even managed to send something back to her. I worked on it a little more last night, and tweaked a couple of things and thought about how it fits together this morning.

It would help if my brain wasn't so fried from getting up at the crack of dawn to put Hannah on the bus at 6:57 am, and then running errands all over town for half or more of the day. Since Wednesday, I have walked slightly more than 7 miles. As you can imagine, by 4 pm I am frizzle-fried.

I still have my paper to write, but this afternoon I will working on the research end of it. Wish me luck!

Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish
something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will
pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to
the best possible use.
- Earl Nightingale, 1921 - 1989

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln, 1809 - 1865

It's amazing how much smoother this round of writing is going. I am not having to struggle with each word to get my point across. And then when I reread it later, it still sounds good to me. Before I would have to go back and keep changing it because what was in my head wasn't what was on the page. Maybe it's all the oxygen I have been getting from my walking. I think the concentrated thinking time has helped as well. I can work through a little bit and then I am ready to sit down and type it up.

We'll see if the trend continues. I have posted to Nee and westexgirl so I am off to bed.

Open letter to Kee:

I am very proud of you for looking at your responsibilities and deciding to add writing to the list. It doesn't actually matter to me how often you write, just that you have made a conscious decision to include it in your weekly schedule.

And I don't think you can compare getting in the writing habit to making your bed--I only pull the covers over my pillow to keep the cats off it.*g* Menial habits are not in the same category as putting writing on your list of priorities.

I myself need to devote my time this month to a paper due October 1. I hope to fit in some creative writing around it, but it just depends on how fried my brain is after reading about linguistics and writing in German each day. To that end, I have spent the afternoon (Hannah's first day of afternoon classes) reading and taking notes and trying to figure out what exactly it is I want to do and how to go about it. I already had an idea, so at least I wasn't starting from the very beginning. So I will try to send you any creative writing I squeeze out; I'll post here about the progress of my paper.

But I'll be looking in my inbox first thing Thursday morning for tomorrow's output. *glare* :-)

While I have been considering sending stuff to westexgirl, I keep harping on a few home truths. Well, I've already admitted in the past that I am selfish. Not intentionally, but certainly more than my fair share. And since acknowledging it, I really have tried on most all levels of my life to address it and make changes to be less selfish. And more aware of others selfless generosity.

The other thing I have come to realize is that I am lazy. As in I don't like to do more than I have to--which is a symptom of selfishness, right? And as in I don't seem to be good at repetitive, continual things. I have a hard time sticking to routines, as do the laundry every Monday, dust every Friday, exercise twice a week. My dirty house and out of shape body are testaments to both.

And when I reread this, the not sticking to routines strikes me as odd. It really is true that I suck at them. You'd think I'd like them and crave them since I hate change. I hate it when they change up the produce section at the grocery store. I hate it when there is something at school that I have to go to that I've never done before. I hate it when they change the tax law and I have to learn a new way of doing it. I hate it when the kids start a new sport and I don't know whose team we are going to be on or the other moms or the rules of the game.

So why can't I stick to something like always doing laundry on the same day. It's sad to say that I have just now gotten in the habit of making my bed every morning. I know that's pitiful, but it IS hard to make it when hubby is still sleeping in it when I get up. And since he's been gone most of the summer, I have gotten to enjoy the sense of completion in doing it every day.

Anyway. I think I want to send Nee and westexgirl both my writing progress. I think it can only be good, if not a little intimidating. BUT I am going to be realistic. I don't think I have it in me to promise to work everyday. For one, I still work part-time, read a book a day, have football practice three hours a week, a child who will be the death of me before he learns his multiplication tables, a promise made to my best friends to workout at the Y at least twice a week (or they will refuse to let me go power shopping with them anymore because I can't keep up after an hour), a tax return on extension that needs to be done in the next month or the IRS will come looking for me, and a problem focusing on accounting and writing at the exact same time.

With that said, I promise to work on my writing on my days off-Monday and Wednesday.
I will send my progress to you both before I go to bed on those days. I probably won't look at any comments until the next day off-unless I work some over a weekend. I hope this doesn't seem like too little. I think it's something realistic for me and it will be more than what I've been doing lately.

Now that Kee is done with her "woe is me" posturing of 2 posts ago
;-p, I thought I would chime in with the results of day 1:
Kee 1
Nee 1

We both had something to send to each other, even if it was leftovers in Kee's case *cough, cough* and notes in mine. I accepted hers in the spirit of it being a run-up to more new words. No more slack will be cut. *stern glare*

That means me, too. Hannah started school today, and I didn't get home from all the post-school shopping until 4, but I fully intend to go upstairs and put words on paper while she watches Flushed and Away (or whatever it's called).

Regarding Kee's last post, I have been thinking that a writing group is really the next stage for her, but they can be brutal (intentionally or not) to the psyche of a relative novice, so my thumb-screw technique was dreamed up as a sort of warm-up to chastising her into letting non-relatives (and non-friend-almost-relatives) read her work and comment on it. Letting WesTexGirl take a look is a good in-between step, terrifying as it might be.

Now on to the hot cocoa and writing!

Okay, westexgirl's comments are right on. I know that even when we are demanding great things out of each other we are still not as fierce as we would be with others. And we're not as intimidated (sorry Nee, I stopped being afraid of you when I passed you up with 4 inches to spare) at the thought of failing each other's expectations as we would be from others. (Which I think is a great thing in sisterhood! But maybe it's not so good in writing.)

But all that aside, the idea to take westexgirl up on her offer scares me witless. And it's for all those same reasons why it's such a good idea.

I know that probably doesn't make a lot of sense. But I'm truly going to consider doing it. I am interested in what Nee thinks about it, too. Needless to say that I really do want a kick in the pants to get this book complete and I truly appreciate Nee's and westexgirl's help in doing so.

Just like my big seestor. I start whinin' about my writing and she comes up with a way to torment me. And she goes above and beyond by putting her own feet to the fire as well.

So she wants pages. She'll get pages. Then she'll see what a real sorry writer I am. She'll give up all hope that I can make something out of this damn book and she'll start sending me emails like-"How to make $100,000 a year from home by stuffing envelopes." because she knows I'll never make it writing books.

But if I didn't have her to poke and prod, to torment and torture, me, then I wouldn't be writing at all.

Here are a few sayings I would like to submit for your edification, some of which have already appeared here as „inspirational quotes“:

“There is nothing with which every man is so afraid as getting to know how enormously much he is capable of doing and becoming.”
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard, 1813 – 1855

Neil Gaiman on writing: "This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it's done. It's that easy, and that hard."

"A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit."
Richard Bach, author (1936-)

(My translation of a quote from a book of German word-search puzzles:)
Luck is one half of life and discipline is the other, decisive half, because luck won’t get you far without discipline.
(I think you could reword this to apply to writing, too:)
Talent is one half of writing and discipline is the other half, the more important half, because talent won’t get you far as a writer without discipline.

“You’ll be good at what you do every day.”
-John’s mom


I came up with these after my conversation yesterday with Kee. We have both been feeling uncertain about our writing lately, wondering whether we have what it takes, or why we feel so strongly about doing something that makes us kind of crazy sometimes. We will both admit that we are happy in our lives right now, and yet we are striving after something that doesn’t always make us happy. Writing is like our crack: we can’t see it doing us much good, but we can’t give it up.

With that being said, I don’t think we have turned the corner yet; we haven’t yet given ourselves completely over to this task of turning out stories we can be proud of. Maybe I am putting words in Kee’s mouth; she can call me on it if I am. It just seemed to me that all of the above quotes are especially applicable to our current situation.

Kee said something interesting, that she has support from friends and family coming out the whazoo (perhaps not that crudely stated *g*), and yet it is still hard for her to put fingers to keyboard. It made me think that support can’t be the only thing you (generic and specific) need to be successful at something; maybe you also need accountability. Maybe I do, too. So here is what I propose: every day, you email me your daily pages, and I will send you mine. I don’t care if it is notes, rough draft, thinking aloud—whatever. I won’t actually read it unless you want me to, but I will see that you did something. No counting words or pages, no breaking it down the way we did when we started this blog, just raw output.

I know that you are a smart, creative woman, Kee, and I know that you can do this. Your novel has characters that people can care about, that people who have read your work *do* care about, and I know that you can work hard when you put your mind to it (remember that screen door?). So now I am going to put your feet to the fire. Let me see what you can do.

And if you don’t I will taunt you in this public forum, because I am your big sister. And if you still don’t, I will taunt you a second time. Feel free to return the favor.

I too am a genius. At least that's what I tell everybody. And I do stress out thinking how many people must think I am a complete wanker by writing a bunch of stuff that is total crap.

So I can exactly see your point.

Half the time I talk myself out of writing. At first I thought that writing didn't take a lot of time. Or I should say, writing a complete thought. But it's work. And sometimes I get to the point that I don't know where I am supposed to end up with my complete thought. So what do I do. Not start doing it at all.

Then I read something that I could mark to death with a red pen. And I think, "How did that crap get published?"

Maybe it's time for my crap.

Have you ever heard this saying?

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

I have started to associate this saying recently with my writing, or rather, my lack of writing. I guess the cowardly writer version might go, “It is better to write nothing and think you are a genius than to write something and prove you’re not.” *wry grin*

It took me a couple of days to work myself up to rereading “Late Night Radio”, and I found that it was not as bad as I feared, but not as good as I had hoped. It is the most complete story in my big box o’ stories right now, and I think it could really be good, but I let self-doubt stand in my way too often to get any momentum on it.

But instead of sitting here moaning and groaning about it, I am going to force myself to go upstairs *right now* and work on it. Sayonara!

Okay, the tickle is getting to me.

I think I have decided on a plan of action. I'm going to start with the last version I sent to my editor contact. From that I will add the plot elements that she wanted. But try to keep it in the same voice as the original work. Comparing the earlier versions to the recent stuff, the voice is what seems to be the biggest contrast.

Yeah, it seems I screwed up the one thing the editor really told me she liked.

That's the plan. We'll see how much I get done over the holiday weekend. I hope a lot, but honey-do came home this weekend.

Call if you miss me!!!