I've made a decision.

I can't keep up with everything right now, so I'm going to stop sending my stuff for a while. I'll probably even stop checking the internet, too.

It won't be forever, but I just don't have enough time in the day to do it all and still have time to sleep. Since I've been fighting some kind of mongo headache for the last week and a half (it's not a migraine, sinus, or my blood pressure so it must be stress), I need as much rest as possible so I can function at an acceptable level.

Think of me while I'm exiled.

Writing the last page of the first draft is the most enjoyable moment in writing. It's one of the most enjoyable moments in life, period. -Nicholas Sparks, author (1965- )

I was too tired to post Monday after I finished working. I am only working tonight until it's time to put the laundry in the dryer, but I thought I better check in.

It's been a crapfest around here lately but at least there's plenty of motivation to be a rich and famous writer. I may hold off doing any of my other web lurking until I get some more of what's in my head down on paper. So if you don't hear from me for a while, it's not because I'm goofing off.

Oh, and isn't there some kind of eclipse tonight? Isn't that like a sign of the wrath of the heavens, an indicator of a major disturbance of the universe, a precursor to a significant cosmic event? Like, oh, say, someone fixing to turn 36. Holy schmoe.

After hearing from my instructor that my paper was ready to pick up, I decided that the best way to prepare for bearding the beast in its den (or office, as the case may be) would be for me to reread the paper in question. It had been a whole semester since I had turned it in, and I wasn’t even completely sure anymore what was in there.

You have to understand—I HATE rereading my own writing. Just contemplating it fills me with a feeling of dread. I know I have to do it—eventually—but I’d rather have all my skin grated off with a rusty cheese grater.

And to add another layer of weird to the crazy cake, I swing between thinking it is going to be a steaming pile of crap and thinking it might be the best thing my instructor got that semester. (I know—see crazy, above.)

As I finally read back over it, I noticed some typos, a few misused words, a few places I could have done a better job of explaining and organizing, but all in all, it was o.k. And I was satisfied with that.

Forward to this morning, waiting for the line outside the instructor’s office to dwindle. I was able to get some reading in for my paper-in-progress and not freak out too much, at least not until I was the last one outside the door. This is the instructor who can eviscerate you with her direct manner and constructive criticism, without really intending to. But she didn’t say anything about my paper that I didn’t already know, and she gave me some useful feedback I can apply to my current paper and my future thesis. And she gave me a 2 (roughly a high B). So I am more than satisfied with my grade (I would have been happy with a 3), and highly relieved that it’s over.

One down, two to go.

Kee sent me the following:

For Feb. 11
"I am so proud of me. I missed posting last Wed but that doesn't mean I didn't work. I've been going strong. In fact, I just had a monster session. 1300 NEW words AND I reused a scene that I thought I was going to have to scrap because it didn't make sense anymore. It just all kinda came together."

For Feb. 13
"I do have some new stuff tonight, but it's not fine tuned cause I just needed to 'block' the rest of what's been in my head. So it doesn't make sense to anybody but me right now. Maybe Monday it'll be ready."

So she is really getting the words onto paper.

Go, Kee!

Kee has been super busy with her day job, so she hasn't had much time for getting on the Internet at home, mostly because she's been getting so much writing in! Yay, Kee! She is keeping me posted via email, and I'll try to pass on the updates here, in case anyone is following along at home.

I fell asleep while reading for my paper this afternoon. It may have been because I was sitting in a delicious bath of sunlight, or because I seem to be fighting off a cold, but I had to make it official and get in the bed for a nap. So progress on the paper is happening, but slowly.

And I just got an email that a previous paper has been read and I should come by my prof's office hour. Now I am pants-pissingly worried. Oh, well, too late for that now.

Link of the day:

Nancy Pickard offers some tips on rewriting based on using your senses.

I'm sorry I've sort of "disappeared" from around here. I haven't really had much to say because 1) Kee was on a work/holiday hiatus, and 2) I wasn't writing anything myself, either. But now Kee is back, and I--well, I'm not writing, but I AM working.

I am sure that none of you have ever been late with a paper before *cough*, but the later it is, the more you feel like you have to have something really fantastic in hand before you can talk to your instructor about it, and the more pressure you feel to produce something extra super fabulous. (I am sure I read a much better description of this over at Bitch PhD, but I couldn’t find it today despite *cough* too much time spent reading her archives.) When you find yourself in this situation, the only way out of it is to sack up and go talk to your instructor, like I did last week.

Unfortunately, my discussion with her was completely the opposite of extra super fabulous. It was like I was channeling Ralphie at Santa’s workshop in the department store: Paper? What’s a paper?! I may have made a bit of an ass of myself, but what else is new. The look on her face when I was describing my totally un-do-able idea for a paper topic had the same effect as Santa’s elf trying to push Ralphie down the slide after he mumblingly agreed to a football: Ack! I take it back! Except my idea for a do-able topic—one I had a note about on my laptop--didn’t occur to me until I got to the bus stop. Since then, I’ve been going through the literature I already have on hand, trying to ferret out useful information.

I’ve realized 2 things recently that have really helped me wrap my mind around this paper-thing:
1. I had to ask myself: “Why am I doing something I don’t like?” And then I remembered: I *do* like learning! Then why the hell am I acting like it is the worst thing I’ve ever been asked to do?
2. Writing this paper doesn’t mean I have to reinvent the wheel. As a matter of fact, it is a seminar paper, not a master’s thesis; it doesn’t even have to be original. I just have to come up with a question and use the available literature to find a reasonable answer.
With these 2 things squared away, I feel like I’ve made the proper mental adjustments that will let me make some progress.

Next goal: getting an outline of my (hopefully not sucky) new topic to my instructor by the end of next week. (Hannah is out of school this week, which is also the last week of the semester, so I am not going to push my luck by aiming for the end of this week.)

Just a quick check in. Hubby has been hogging the computer lately so I thought I'd post something when I could.

I've been working on my goods and have even managed some new stuff while reviewing. I am almost back to the point where I left off in Dec. When I get to that point, I'll get back to sending my stuff. This afternoon may be a great time for me to get some more work done.

I saw the news where someone's coming to see me in March. I'm sooooooo excited!!!!