For those who don't know...

In my real job, I have very strict standards for myself. I am organized. I keep deadlines. I leave my work so that any person could pick it up at a moment's notice and follow where I am at and what needs to be done next...say, like if I got hit by a bus or got *the* call that an agent wants everything I have ever written and I'm an overnight author success story. Well, the likelihood of me not showing up for work because of either of those is slim to none, but still I do my part to always be prepared.

The chick that came before me, well let's just say that all of her work has been sanitized. There is no evidence that this information lived a normal accounting life. It just appeared out of nowhere. It was not born of supporting documentation. It was not loved and nutured by a family of cross references. It has no friendships of tickmarks, ten-key tapes, or smudged pencil marks. No, this ugly step-child still bears the cleaniness it could have only known by being jerked fresh from the printer and shoved directly into a file folder. What absurd treatment of perfectly innocent financial information.

I have spent almost half of the last 48 hours sitting at my desk attempting to read, interpret, and make sense of the lack of information left for me. I have been doing this because it is my turn to produce the end result. I can't do that when I have no idea what the starting point is. I will brag enough to say that, with time, I could do it. I'm just that good. But I don't have time. My deadline is tomorrow. I would still be sitting there now if I didn't need a few things like food or sleep. And it's pissing me off right now that I can't make myself to do without those.

So we'll see what I can accomplish by the end of tomorrow. Maybe I can pull it off. Who knows. Both of my bosses realize the the trail I was left couldn't have been followed by a hardened sherpa. It's at least adding to my credit (and hopefully future paychecks) that I have gotten this far.

(In case you were wondering why this is posted on a writing blog, I thought I could use the practice at short story telling. I sometimes ramble and lose my point. For the record, I thought this one was good. Grade for me: A)

I don't have a problem with coming up with ideas to write. It's the follow through to the end that leaves me drowning in a sea of words that seems to get bigger the more I wade into it. I do my best(I think) writing when I just sit at the computer and type. There seems to be less back and forth editing that way. I don't think it has anything to do with my typing skills vs hand writing it out. I actually suck pretty hard at typing...when I took accounting in high school instead of typing I said that I would rather be an accountant who couldn't type than a typist who couldn't account. (hee hee hee...I have always thought that was rather funny since I turned into a damn fine accountant.)

But I digress. I consider the time between being able to sit down and get my words out as "brewing" time. It's when I let myself get so into the setting of the scene in my head that when I do write I can almost feel what's happening, almost like I am right there with my characters. It's kinda cool, but it's also a little freaky if I have to wait a while to get to a computer. It's like I have these people in my head talking to me. I know, I know; my family has thought I've heard voices in my head for years. I will admit to one rather strange instance that is what brought all of this up.

A couple of months ago I had the worst migraine of my life. And that is not an exaggeration. It was bad enough that when I went to the doctor a week later, her immediate reaction to my specifics had her scheduling me for an MRI. The MRI was okay and the neurologist cleared me of anything serious. I have never had one that had me wishing I would just pass out to get it over with. In the middle of the pain, throwing up, dizziness, etc, etc, I had an idea for a book. If I concentrated on the idea, the migraine didn't feel as if it was sucking the life out of me at that moment. I focused on the characters, setting, AND THE ENDING, then when I got through all of it my medicine put me to sleep. It was so strange.

When I got up the next day (like 18 hours later), I could still remember it. The whole thing was laid out for me. I could see how I could write it in sections and be done. So that's what I have been doing. Now, it's not like what I have been doing before, well, not exactly like it. Yes, it is a romance. But, no, it is not an explicit romance. It would probably be called a christian romance. Maybe it had something to do with me calling to my maker while my head throbbed, I don't really know why it has to be that way, but it does. And I'm good with that. It will be shorter than other stuff I tried so maybe that will also help it get done. Anyways I just thought I'd post what I was up to.

May the writing bug bite you, too!

Writing Process

From an article about Comic Con in the NYTimes:

Asked by Mr. Lasseter ... about how he goes about creating his stories, the silver-haired Mr. Miyazaki, who appeared both bewildered and mildly amused by the encounter, said: “My process is thinking, thinking and thinking about my stories for a long time. If you have a better way, please let me know.”

I'm Dishonorable!

Well, the 2009 Bulwer-Lytton Contest results are in, and I am one of the Miscellaneous Dishonorable Mentions for this finely crafted piece:

On a lovely day during one of the finest Indian summers anyone could remember--a season the Germans call "old wives' summer," obviously never having had Native Americans to name things after, but plenty of old wives, and "Indian summer" in German would refer to the natives of India in any case, which would make even less sense than the current naming system--on such a day, however named, John Baxter fell in the creek and drowned.

Let the accolades flow in!

Getting Nowhere Fast

A couple of days ago, I realized I had to get better organized with my materials for my thesis. Also, I needed to get energized, so I made myself a sign:

I am the queen of the organizers. I will organize the hell out of this shit!

That is taped onto the picture hanging in our dining room above the bench, which has its own signs for the different sections of my thesis. I made piles of materials under the signs, and the best thing is that I can put my piles on the floor under the bench--still sorted!--whenever we need to be able to sit down at the table.

Now if I can just get the sorted materials digested and organized into a coherent structure...

(Hannah loves to read this sign, but she bleeps out the bad words.)

And there was life after all...

I didn't fall of the earth, though it kinda looks like it by way of my postings here. Things have been in an upswing around the place lately and that means the old writing juices are free to flow again. I've been pondering my RANSOM story and might actually get a chance to drag it out and shake the dust off of it this weekend. We'll see how far I get and report back later.

So slow

I got some work in yesterday on my thesis, and a little on an editing gig. Today, I taught 2 classes and then took Hannah back to the doctor about her cast, and then came home and made dinner. Now I am bushed, but tomorrow I'll get back into gear.

Kee--how's things?

You've Got that Squeezy Feeling

I have so much to do, I am starting to feel the first flutterings of panic. *deep breath*

*Deep breathing not helping*

*Fetal position*

Maybe another time with the blogging...

TA DA!

I finished all 15 articles from my editing job! Woo! Now I am just waiting for feedback from the last 4 authors, and this is job is DONE! YAY! And it only took me 82 hours to get through 205 pages. Actually, now that I think about it, that's not so stupendous, but at least it is over.

What's Your Daily Routine Like?

Just came across an interesting blog that details "how writers, artists, and other interesting people [such as the 44th President of the United States] organize their days."

Daily Routines

I've just skimmed through the first few entries so far, but I have enjoyed seeing how other "creative types" structure their work.

Personally, I am not very organized, but I have discovered recently that I can get up, make some coffee and get Hannah out the door, and get immediately to work (on the current editing job). I am going to be screwed if I ever get an office job again. :-P

Imperial

I have reached the point in editing one article that "imperial" no longer looks like a real word.

Words, words, everywhere words

Let me just say that I don't think "hypothecate" is a real word.

Moving on, I have a few hundred pages to edit before the end of the month and many hundred pages to read for my thesis as soon as possible. Why do I get myself into these things?

So if you are looking for me, I'll be trapped under my laptop for the foreseeable future.

Updating me

Just a little note to let you know that I updated my profile info. It was really out of date with the line about me "recently" quitting my job. I couldn't believe it when I saw I had three hundred hits on it. Who'd have thunk?

I'm going to work on Ransom. Maybe I'll have a post soon about it.

BookEnds, LLC — A Literary Agency

I had a minute and look what I found! Look at the 3/24 post...

BookEnds, LLC — A Literary Agency

Have a GREAT rest of the day!

Thesis Update

Not that there's much to update on. I've been reading and making notes, but not nearly enough, which is something I am trying to fix. I am starting to feel the pressure--just a little--especially since one of my professors said he'd like to read my thesis after I turn it in, and my supervisor mentioned my thesis to a colleague, who then recommended a couple of articles/bibliographies for me to check out, but why was she talking about my thesis to other people, and *agggggghhhh*! Ok, time for a deep breath. *inhale, exhale* Better now.

Back to the article I am reading.

Updated Reading List

Well, it doesn't look like I am going to get around to book-reporting my reading list, so I might as well just tell you what I've read recently:

Vile Bodies, by Evelyn Waugh

Most people are familiar with Brideshead Revisited, but since this was recommended to me, I gave it a try as my first Evelyn Waugh. I liked it--terse but absurd.

Herr Bello und das blaue Wunder, by Paul Maar and Ute Krause ("Mr Bark" and the blue miracle)

A kids' book about a dog that drinks a mysterious blue potion that turns him into a human. Hijinks ensue.

Lord of the Flies, by William Golding

I remember that the other advanced English class in 12th grade read this, something I resented at the time, but obviously not very much, because it took me 18 years to get around to reading it on my own (and it has been sitting on my bookshelf for probably 4 years). The writing didn't really do much for me, but I was totally hooked for the last 4 or 5 chapters, racing through to see how it ended.

Schepper, by Iris A. Otto ("Rattler" (of bones))

A girl has a skeleton for a friend, who may or may not be imaginary. I thought the girl was pretty obsessed with death--the story starts with her great-aunt dying--but Hannah, who has also read the book, disagreed.

Now I am reading a book about archaeology and the Anglo-Saxons.

I wouldn't have believed how much a difference broadband would make to this dial-up hold out. Buts I gots to say...wow. I'm lovin' it. And it sweetens the deal that we got in with a *guaranteed* lifetime rate of less than what I paid for the dial-up. Yeah, I know. One, it was a great deal, and, two, *guaranteed* lifetime is not saying a whole lot these days...but we'll ride it as long as it lasts.

Anyhoo...the writing will have to wait a wee bit longer. I am having to work on my taxes. There's a bit of a situation and so it takes top priority. Of course, this top priority has already been interrupted with the procrastination bug, hence the visit to the blog that I have only looked at twice in the last 4 months or so. But said procrastination is taking so much less time with the already mentioned wonderful broadband..woohoo!

Hopefully, next week will see me zipping through some long pent-up writing ideas.

Time for a kick

I recently heard from Kee that she is pretty well settled into her new job, AND she got broadband, so there are no excuses for no updates from her. *hint, hint* We want to hear some writing progress, pronto!

Mini-Book Report: Krabat, by Otfried Preußler

I forgot to mention earlier that the city library is closed until June for renovation, which is one reason I decided to work on my book backlog. But I am not limiting myself to my own personal books; Hannah has lots of books—especially English and German classics—I haven’t read, so they are also fair game.
After Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, I picked up Krabat, by Otfried Preußler, from Hannah’s stash. It won a lot of international awards and was even made into a movie last fall. Interestingly enough, Hannah’s class was reading it at the time, but they couldn’t go to see the film as a class because the minimum age to get in was 12, which meant a bunch of the sixth-graders were too young to be admitted without a parent. John read it when Hannah was done with it, and now I’m reading it.

I saw where it was published in English under the title The Satanic Mill, which would probably be a big turn-off for American parents, but the story is a lot more subtle and unsettling than such a blunt title might suggest.

Krabat is an orphan who finds his way to a mysterious mill after having the same dream 3 nights in a row. Things happen repeatedly in threes throughout the book, and this ratchets up the suspense. Krabat is taken on as an apprentice at the mill; he realizes things aren’t exactly what they seem, but only later does he discover that milling is only part of this training. He and the other 11 apprentices are also taught black magic. Most days pass uneventfully, but at midnight during the new moon, the apprentices must work feverishly in a secret part of the mill, grinding who-knows-what for a sinister being whose wagon leaves no tracks in the snow.

Reading the book, there is an almost surreal quality to the events that occur. The apprentices rarely speak openly to each other, from the fear that the master will discover it. They realize that even their innermost thoughts are not safe from him: Krabat has a series of dreams showing the futility of trying to run away from the mill.

In the end, the master’s power is broken and the apprentices are set free, but it is love, not magic, that has the power to save them.

Otfried Preußler wrote a lot of children’ books* that are considered classics in Germany, and the ones Hannah doesn’t already have, I will definitely be adding to my to-read list once the library is open again.

* Krabat is one of the few YA/juvenile books Preußler wrote.

Mini-Book Report: Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, by Susanna Clarke

The year is 1806. England has forgotten its magical past, reduced to fairy tales and myths. There are some who claim to be magicians, but neither the swindlers nor the academicians can actually perform magic. Until a retiring, nervous little man—Mr. Norrell—is discovered. He has devoted his life, in the quiet of his private library, to the study of magic, and after proving his abilities to the theoretical magicians, he sets out to ensure his role as the sole practitioner and protector of magic in England.

Jonathan Strange wants to get married, but he knows that his inheritance won’t impress his beloved as much as his having a vocation. Through a strange series of events, he hits on the idea of becoming a magician, and for the first time in his life, throws himself whole-heartedly into his studies. He eventually finds his way to Norrell and convinces him to take him on as his student.

The reader follows Norrell and Strange through English history—trying to cure mad King George, helping Wellington to victory at Waterloo—and through alternate history, as well, as they restore magic to England, to their own detriment.

Maybe I am the target audience, but I enjoyed every one of the 1006 pages of the paperback edition of Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell. It has *footnotes*, people; footnoted fiction—it was love at first sight. The language made me think of Jane Austen and Henry James, and the humor was deliciously dry. And to top off the enjoyment, I didn’t notice a single typo, something that has marred my enjoyment of many a text, fiction and academic alike. I found it an all-around excellent read!

I have never gone back and reloaded my bookmarks* from when I weaned myself from the teat of the Internet while I was studying for my exams. That means that if I want to look at blogs, I have to 1. remember the URL, or 2. make the effort to dig my bookmarks out from where I’ve hidden them on my hard drive. I am a lazy person at heart, so I’ve stuck with method 1 for a while; I just wish I had a better memory. The other day, though, I had to look something up for John on his computer, which contains my core bookmarks from back when we were a one-computer family. The lure was too great to resist, and I found myself skimming my old bookmarks. Aha! I thought. Let’s see what Mr. John Scalzi is up to.

Now I am thinking of giving up writing.

It was this article that really did it for me. Does this main character/story-line ring any bells, Kee? Does it remind you of a certain short story I was working on last year?

Last time something like this happened to me, I thought, Hey! My story ideas aren’t total crap! Someone else out there thought it was a publishable idea. This time, my confidence has taken a bit of a beating.

I guess I know the saying, beat by Miss Snark into her readership, that ideas are a dime a dozen, but the real test is in the execution. But that doesn’t make me feel much better. I guess I thought my idea was unique, but apparently someone else’s brain works similarly to mine.

What’s really stupid is that I didn’t even have any plans to publish my story (I don’t *think*, but the brain is a treacherous organ).

Also, I hadn’t written a word on it in months and months, even though I had recently dusted it off mentally and was working out some necessary revisions. Maybe that is why I felt like someone had pulled the rug out from under me. If my story were still buried in a box in my closet or in a file on my hard drive, it would have been like finding out that my one-of-a-kind tchotchke was actually part of a set. As it is, it feels more like discovering that someone cloned my child and gave her a better upbringing—complete with private tutor and pony—than I could.

Maybe I should just get over myself. I mean, look what happened to this guy: When he wrote a book from the point of view of an ogre, Shrek came out. When he wrote a book about some kick-ass princesses, Shrek 3 came out. And yet, he didn’t let him get it down, and those books all got published.

* Yes, I know there are sites where you can store your bookmarks online, but I haven’t had a chance to look at them yet.

Let's see:

Today I read a chapter on child development and a chapter on cognitive linguistics and wrote a page of notes for my thesis. It's not a whole lot, but it is a lot more than nothing. I think I will aim for that amount as my minimum every day.

And what's up with you?

I had a very productive day--minus my bus not coming and therefore being late for the class I was scheduled to teach. *d'oh!*

I typed up a plan for my thesis and sent it off to a potential advisor, who wrote me right back and said yes. Yay! Except, I am supposed to turn in a form with her signature on Thursday, and she is sick at home (in a distant town--she commutes). I'll drop it in the mail to her tomorrow and run by the exam office with a copy of her email to let them know that I won't have my paperwork in on time.

I found a couple of books to use for my thesis. I'll start reading them tomorrow and will enter them in a database of materials.

I read about the corpus I want to use for my research.

So, baby steps and all, but progress!

I don’t normally make New Year’s resolutions, but this year I have resolved to whittle away my to-read pile. John knows how much I love to read, and every xmas I get books from him, but I don’t seem to have made much headway recently on getting through my stack. This last semester has been rather heavy-duty, so there has been no reading for pleasure, outside of the occasional peek into one of my “wubby” books: Pride and Prejudice, Harry Potter, The Dead Zone, The Lord of the Rings. I often read the last three when I feel a little down. Nothing makes me feel better than a guaranteed cry.

Anyhow, I had taken up Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell as bathroom reading a while back, but it was getting too engrossing for that setting, and I didn’t have more time to devote to it, so it went into the closet until yesterday. I thought I was about halfway through it, but alas, my bookmark is only about one-quarter of the way in. So now I have something to do in the evenings in addition to mastering Rock Band for Wii and the occasional sewing project. During the day, I will be putting my nose to the grindstone on my thesis (I even did a little research for it already this morning!). I refuse to feel guilty about reading in the evening, as long as I get my work done in the morning.

I had grand plans for organizing my reading plan, maybe going in alphabetical order, but that would be a huge undertaking, so I think I will just try to mix it up as I go. And post my progress here, just to have something to say.

Wow! It has been forever and a day since I last posted. Since then, I've completed all but one of my exams (the last one is on Jan. 8), finished editing that dissertation (5 minutes ago), and edited an e-magazine for my university's English department, the theme of which was murder-mysteries. Some were really good--they made me forget to read with an eye toward correction for paragraphs at a time, always a good sign.

If I passed my exam last week and pass my exam in 2 weeks, I will then move on to writing my master's thesis next semester. I still need to arrange for a supervisor, but I will try to get organized next week and send an email to a likely person who was recommended to me.

In a fit of inspiration--I don't have bursts, they are definitely fits--I jotted down the first part of an entry for next year's Bulwer-Lytton contest. One day, I will be bad enough to win, and not just amuse myself. I swear on Grumpy's beard!

Can't write. Must study. More at other blog.

Here is the blog I was telling you about: http://super_librarian.blogspot.com/ Hopefully that will get you there.

I totally love Wendy! Her post for 11-1 had me in coffee-snorting laughter. She's in my favorites but I'd love a link to her on our blog.

The librarian in you will love her. Read the 10-29 post.

Here's an entertaining blog for the romance-readers among us:
Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

I especially like the logo that comes up at the top of the screen:
Come for the Dominican Bitches, Stay for the Man-Titty

Hee hee hee!

Hannah has a pretty stable list of what she wants to be when she grows up: a cook / restaurant / hotel owner, president of the US, a super-model, other normal over-the-top kid ideas about careers. Recently she's added author to her list.

On Friday, her PE teacher didn't show up. After the kids farted around for the first hour of PE, a different teacher turned up and said, hey, why don't you kids each come up with an idea for a story, and then swap ideas and write a story based on what you end up with. Well, Hannah was not very thrilled about having to write a horror story, especially since the idea came from a *boy*, the horror! So she told the boy to keep his idea and she would write up hers.

She came home Friday afternoon with most of a hand-written page: The Spy Pie. She's still not sure about the title. It's a story about a kid who becomes a spy--I don't know what pie has to do with it, and I don't think she does either, because her alternate title would use "pi", as in 22/7.

She spent quite a bit of time Friday afternoon and one day this weekend writing on her story. I think she has 2 chapters so far. She read some of it to John and me, and frankly, we were impressed. She did have a few flubs with prepositions--interference from German, I'm afraid--but she really has a feel for how a story should be put together.

After finishing chapter 2, she asked John if he would be her agent and help her publish her book when she finished. Of course! he answered. Not 10 minutes later, she came to me in the living room and asked if *I* would be her agent. Didn't you just ask Dad to be your agent, I ask. Well, in case he dies. Well, in that case, yes. She's always thinking about contingency plans.

I don't know if she will get around to finishing her opus, but her spate of work over the weekend kind of made me feel ashamed of my own lameness. Hannah can be totally lazy and lack-luster about things--like studying German grammar or Latin vocabulary--but when it comes to something that she personally enjoys--like blowing stuff up in science class or writing short stories--she works hard and learns quite a bit. She's kind of my hero, except when I am trying to get her to study German grammer, Latin vocabulary, etc.

Fuck me. I just realized that the humongous text I’m proofreading (561 pages for the main document) is spaced all weird. One page of the text—with the weird spacing and 13-point type—is 39 lines and equivalent to about one-and-a-half pages of normal double-spacing with 12-point type. So in reality, I’m proofreading 561 x 1.5 = 840.5 pages. Luckily, there are lots of tables and graphs and screenshots in one chapter, but still!

Let me just go on the record here. The word "zoomable"--as in, "a zoomable table/graphic"--is the devil's underpants is far as I am concerned.

That is all.

I realized on Sunday that I have a double-shitload of stuff to do and zero organizational skills, so I needed to think of something fast or risk being buried in an avalanche of undone shit. Then it hit me: Hannah goes to school every day, and at school she has a fixed schedule. All I have to do is follow her school schedule. She has class in one-and-a-half-hour blocks, with 15- or 10-minute breaks in between. So this morning I sat down at 7:50 and started working on a *huge* proofreading job I’d barely started on (we’re talking 600+ pages). I worked when Hannah was in class, took breaks when she took breaks, and ate lunch when she ate lunch. At one point I looked up and was all, “Fluh?! How did it get to be 3 o’clock already?”

That’s when I called it a day, about 30 minutes before Hannah got out of school. But rather than lie in front of the tv and wait for John to throw cookies in my mouth, like I usually do, I gathered up the 2 big bags of clothes from the great fall closet purge and headed into town to drop them in the donation box and pick up a couple of books that were waiting for me at the university library. I got home at 5 and, surprisingly, didn’t feel completely brain-dead, so I am going to work some more (did I mention 600+ pages?) while John makes chili (only he doesn’t know yet that he’s going to make chili).

Pages covered so far today: 15 + 1 + 6 + 18 = 40 (oh dear, this is going to be a hard slog)

I’m glad to see that Kee had something to post while I was off on vacation. It will probably take me forever and a day just to label the 700+ photos we took, much less blog the trip. I haven’t even finished blogging the previous trip to Stockholm! School stuff and an editing gig are going to have to come first, though.

While waiting for one of several loads of laundry to finish up, I was perusing some of the blogs I have bookmarked—there are a *lot* of them, but I don’t read all of them regularly—and I came across a really excellent post by Alice over at Finslippy. She told about an art class where one half of the class was graded on the quantity of pots they produced, and the other half was graded on the quality of pots they produced. Surprisingly, the quantity half of the class made more improvement than the quality half, because they could make improvements on previous mistakes with the next pot, whereas the quality half got bogged down trying to make the perfect pot on the first try. Alice rightly, in my opinion, pointed out that this applies to all creative arts: you create something, and if it is not perfect on the first try, so what; you do it better next time. Anyhow, I thought it was something interesting and important enough to mention here.

And then all the planets aligned...

I had the urge Tuesday night to re-read what I had done on a story I had started but hadn't touched in a while. The story--code name RELATION--and its characters had been swarming around my head after I posted. Mainly, I think, because I was seriously doubting if writing was something I wanted to pursue and I was also seriously doubting if RANSOM was ever going to get done.

Part of the problem is that I like my characters in RANSOM too much. I think that's part of my progression/perfection problem and why I'm not getting anywhere. I started RELATION on a whim of an idea and just typed away until I hit a brick wall. It took a relatively short amount of time for what I had complete, but it was also over TWO years since I touched it...AGH!

Alas, when I re-read it, I thought 'Not too bad.' It had some of the same mistakes I have been trying to eliminate in RANSOM, but it would be easy enough to fix. As I was in the middle of reading, I couldn't remember where I'd left the story-just that I knew I had hit the wall and didn't know what came next. To my surprise, the last line I had typed--which had nothing to do with the story--was 'This is a test.'

It floored me. That is EXACTLY the phrase I have been using in describing all the crap that has been going on in my life the last 8 months. It's felt like the decisions that have been put before me are a test of what I really want and where/what I need to be. So to see it on something I wrote two years ago is...yeah.

I go to bed with the story on my mind. At 3:44 the next morning I wake up with where the story is supposed to go next-I'm on the other side of the wall! I try to tell myself it'll still be in my head at a decent hour and to go back to sleep. Then I keep hearing 'This is a test.' So I get up and, bleary-eyed, go outline what I woke up with. Then the next day, I outline more. So now I'd say I had 8/10 of the story outlined and plotted. That's a first for me-knowing where the story is going before I write it.

It may not be a best-seller but it would make a nice category romance. And best of all, right now it would mean I actually get to write new stuff instead of editing old stuff. Every time I feel like quitting, I hear 'This is a test' and keep going.

On the high school note...

I have had the thought lately that I am not the same girl I was back then. In some ways (no more baby fat, no more BIG hair), it's not so bad. In other ways, not so good. Aside from the fact I'm STILL dealing with unruly hormones (mine and my pre-pubescent kids), the drive/spark/ambition that kept me at the top of my class is gone.

I read an interesting blog over BookEnds about writers and the company they keep with other writers. (I'd link it if I knew how.) It basically talked about how the drive to succeed and compete will eventually lump good writers together. Then this support network pushes them farther and higher.

My mother has told me that in high school I competed with my dear Nee. I have always said to that, "I never FELT that I competed with her." For all the world to know...Nee was, and still is, on a much higher academic level than me. I never knowingly tried to compete with her, but, yes, it could account for some of my success back then (even though Nee was two years ahead of me).

Okay, so what's up now? I still have the amazing support of Nee (and a few other very friendly friends) who have contributed much to my efforts at being a published author. Is it the same as direct competition? Well, no. Do I have the benefit of constant feedback/praise? Yes. Do I have someone pushing me to do more? Yes, multiple someones.

So where's my drive? Why can't I finish the first novel?

Maybe it's because I am still the girl I was back in high school...I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up...I am taking the safer road (the safer classes)...To be an accountant will be more stable than being a writer...If I don't try something risky, I can't fail at it.

The idea will still be safe in my dreams.

During my high school band geek phase--as opposed to my college band geek phase--I spent most of my sophmore year hanging around with 2 older section leaders. These paragons of leadership never, ever played the school fight song at football games. Never. Instead, they sang a little song they had made up to insult various band directors to the tune of the fight song:

Ed's retardo,
Fred's retardo,
Bud's retardo, too.
Every-body is retardo
--except Mr. Graham--
and so--are--you!

(Hint: The retardos probably weren't Ed, Fred, or Bud.)

I've had one of my stories floating around and around in my head recently, and last night I tried to translate the images in my brain into words on paper. Needless to say, I got one sentence down and quit in frustration. That's when the high school band song popped into my head, only with "Nee" in all the name spots. It was very frustrating, especially since I've had the writing itch for the last week, but nothing to show for it. (Not even a rash, ha ha.)

Otherwise, I have been working on editing for one of my profs. I need to finish up and get it sent out, because on Wednesday we are leaving for Stockholm! Woo! I doubt I'll get any writing done there, but it will be a nice change of pace.

When I turned in my terribly, horribly overdue paper, I wasn't actually sure that I would get it back in time to complete my registration for my master's exams. My professor's assistant had sent me a note that the professor in question would not be grading papers after the 28th of July. The 28th came and went with no message, so I figured it was not meant to be.

I haven't read for my exams as much as I would have liked to, but I have been filling up my spare time with some proofreading for one of my profs in the English department. His feedback has been wonderful--he likes me! he really likes me!--and it has been a relatively satisfying job. And to top it off, when I mentioned that I might not be taking my exams in the fall after all--he is one of my examiners--he said that he would be willing to do me a favor and talk to the other professor about my late paper (they're friends, you know).

But what do you know? Today I got an email from the first prof that she's graded my paper! I got a C--not a surprise. So now I feel like I really need to buckle down. Today I worked at my student job and cleaned the kitchen like a crazy cleaning person--did you know we have a drawer under our stove? I didn't--so I am not up to much studying, but tomorrow I won't have anything else to do but help Hannah bake cookies and wash some laundry. And read, of course.

"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently."
Henry Ford, 1863 - 1947

For the editorial minded, here is a funny video, "Font Conference":

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Exam prep (Sunday): read one chapter of a textbook on child language acquisition.

DONE!



I turned in my final paper on Friday, after writing seriously for 4 or 5 days. I ended up with a 19-page linguistics paper (23 pages with cover, contents page, and bibliography) in German. I call that quite an accomplishment.

I still have a master's thesis (80 pages), 4 oral exams (one half hour each), and 2 written exams (5 hours each) to finish before I am done with my degree, and I have a year in which to do them--or rather, 6 months for the thesis and 6 months for the exams. But I have learned from working on this paper--something I should have learned a long time ago--that to really learn something, I have to work on it a little every day. Otherwise you lose your forward momentum. So that is my goal, one I will try to keep tabs on here.

Right now I am still playing catch-up on household things, but I know I can't do everything at once, so I am trying to spread it out so I can read for my exams AND not live in filth AND not go crazy. I think I can do it.

Exam prep (Saturday): read one chapter of a textbook on child language acquisition.

Arguments over grammar and style are often as fierce as those over Windows versus Mac, and as fruitless as Coke versus Pepsi and boxers versus briefs.
-Jack Lynch, English professor, author (b. 1967)

Query letter update...emailed 7/5...Rejection received 7/9.

It was a standard form rejection.

Oh, well.

I'll keep trying.

Query letter update...Mailed 21 days ago...Rejection received 7/7/08

It was a plain jane form rejection with a name stamp, but it was dated 6/30. That meant it was a fairly fast turn around in her office. The most delay was probably due to the holiday mail service.

Oh well.

I did email a query 7/5. I'll keep you posted.

My paper-writing has ground to a halt. First, I was in a frenzy of reading, making notes, making connections, and there was...something...I was just not quite connecting. It was on the tip of my brain, and I still can't seem to quite grasp it. Sort of like trying to see a floater* in your vision, but when you try to focus on it, it moves off to the side.

Then when I was going back over the article that is the impetus for my paper, it already seems to be including points I wanted to make myself. Shit--where did that come from? I have already read the article more than once!

Grumble, grumble, grumble...


* Yes, I have very bad eyes, and yes, I try to keep track of the floaters in case I suddenly get more of them. No one wants a detached retina.

Query letter update...Mailed 14 days ago...No response yet

In re-reading my goods, I can tell you there is a marked difference in the stuff at the front and the stuff at the back. I had hoped that all of the over compulsive editing I did in the first few chapters was only my own need to tweak it. Apparently, if the back is any indication, it must have pretty much sucked when I first started.

The end is going to take more work that I thought. Aside from the few plot pieces I knew I needed to add, it just doesn't read smoothly. It's almost like I missed writing down half of what was in my head. So it feels very stark, with little emotion or depth. I NEED DEPTH! And I need it quick, cause I've been on a roll writing lately and these damn characters are in my head constantly, and if I call out the hero's name in my sleep, well I think I'll be headed to divorce court.

There was a fascinating article in the NYTimes about the sworn virgins of Albania. Up until recently, women could vow never to have sex and presto-chango! They were men. This was only an option if the male head of the family died or was killed and there was no other male to take charge of the family. A female family member could make the switch, so to speak, and suddenly have the same status and respect as men. Nowadays, there is much more gender equality in Albania, and these family-heads are a dying breed.

I am often struck by how much weirder reality is than fiction.

A NYTimes article on the role of the copy-editor. True, the newspaper copy-editor may be on the way out, but that is not the only variety of copy-editor in the world, so my career aspiration hasn't already died out.

There's this Chinese girl in my department (in both my departments, actually--she's on the same degree program I am and started at the same time), and we occasionally go out for coffee, like once a semester. I saw her in the intro meeting on the first day, and I had her pegged for a bumbler right away. Every time I talk to her, she is really down about school, and she is always behind on her work--even worse than me! She is just now finishing a paper that was due 2 years ago!

Today we had coffee again, and I realized something--I don't want to be like her! It suddenly hit me that I was on the long slide toward turning into her, and I was horrified. I went and worked like a demon possessed on my paper after that, and my stuff is sitting on the table right now so I can work on it some more after I sign off here.

Nothing else has worked to get me motivated to work. It looks like snobbery and fear are my prime motivators.

I have been gone for a good reason. I have been working. On the book.

But I may be gone for a while longer because I may have gotten myself in a bind.

Okay, I have no problem admitting that I listen to the universe. In my world, it keeps me aware of things going on around me and makes me feel like I'm not so alone. Well, I haven't felt like doing a lot lately. To put it mildly, I have been depressed. Things have not been going well on a lot of fronts and I have lost all sense of someone watching over me. This is bad. Not even going to church has restored my feeling of being connected.

Well, it seems like rock bottom is where I needed to be to get serious about my book again. Nothing else has settled me the way writing has, so it's been the only thing I've been able to accomplish. Then, out of the blue, the universe decides to speak to me again. Was there any "I am sorry for not getting in touch lately?" Hell, no. Only a "Pssst, listen up. I've got something I need you to do." That something was to send in a query letter to a VERY big name agent. And that would be a good thing if the novel was complete and ready to send if she wants a full ms. It'll be my luck, or the universe's perverse joke, if she does actually ask for it (it could happen).

So needless to say, I have less than a week to pull together the pieces it's in now and at least get it done. I had just rationalized to myself (before reading your last post) that the most important part was to get all the plot structured in so I could complete a reasonable synopsis/outline (usually 2nd step if agent wants to see more). I think it's about the same thinking. It doesn't have to wow. I just need that big step done. Like yesterday. Then I wouldn't feel bad making the agent wait to tune it up.

We'll see. The universe has cleared the path for me and I have about a week to spend some serious time working on it. Rock bottom is not looking so bad.

Yesterday I sat down and worked on my paper for most of the day. For all that effort, I have a pretty pitiful amount done, but today I am going to power on as soon as I get home.

I was telling John about my paper, and he had a very astute observation to make: My paper doesn't have to be the best paper in the world, it just has to be good enough--and finished.

I think that is one of my major stumbling blocks; I feel like my school work has to completely wow my instructors, but scholarship isn't about making amazing discoveries with every single work. It is more about adding incrementally to the total of the scholarship that has gone before you. In my case, I am writing a paper for a class, so the point is more to show that I can synthesize information into a coherent whole, not so much that I have something new of my own to say.

I wonder how I can turn the above into a mantra for when I start to backslide?

J.K. Rowling's commencement speech at Harvard University

It's very touching and thought-provoking, what she has to say.

I once had an idea for a children’s book: an American child moves to Germany and learns her way around her new town and/or shows her visiting relatives around town. I was moderately pleased with the idea.

Then I saw in the library today that someone has done exactly that for the city of Stuttgart. It looks a bit like a visitor’s bureau guide for the 12-and-under set, complete with maps.

I had envisioned an artist’s rendition, maybe in watercolors, of some of the highlights of Heidelberg interspersed with pictures of the characters.

Just because someone else has done something similar to my original idea here doesn’t mean that there might not still be a market for it in America, but it is kind of disappointing on the one hand, that someone beat me to the punch, but exhilarating on the other, to know that the idea I had was a viable one.

My boss in the English Department is sort of on sabbatical this semester—she swapped places with a professor in New Mexico. Back in April, she was in town for a conference and arranged to have lunch with us lowly student employees. She told us a really outrageous story about the goings-on in her department-away-from-home (which I won’t go into here, but it was way out there). Then she wanted to hear about how we were all doing.

One of the other student employees, S, brought up the creative writing class she is taking. Apparently there is this core group of students who keep taking the class every semester and are very resistant to any suggestions for change. (Of course, the student who brought up the changes prefaced her statement with, “In America, we….” Dumb, dumb, dumb.) S is very disappointed in the class, because she was hoping that they would actually work on specific problems—say characterization, for instance—and would get and give honest feedback. But no, the old-timers want to churn out new stories every week and cash in on a warm fuzzy in class, not work on improving what they’ve already written.

And to add another layer of frustration with the class, there is a fellow student who only writes really icky porn. Badly written icky porn. She says she can tell that he is mostly trying to freak out his classmates. She is more freaked out by his lack of interpersonal skills and disregard for personal space.

What was really strange about her mentioning this guy was that I had just read some of his stuff not 30 minutes before our lunch. I was working in the English Department library, and I finished up with a little time to spare before lunch, so I was browsing the course materials on the hold shelf. Creative writing caught my eye, so I thought I’d see what was in that binder. There were a few stories in there, one a take on Snow White that I really liked and which induced me to keep reading. That’s when I found the ick-meister. As I told S and everyone at lunch, it seemed that he was trying to show off how many synonyms for “semen” he knew. At which my boss did a spit take and declared that she had missed me.

I read a fascinating article in the New York Times earlier in the month about willpower, “Tighten Your Belt, Strengthen Your Mind,” in the context of changing spending habits in a worsening economy. Here are some excerpts:

“The brain has a limited capacity for self-regulation, so exerting willpower in one area often leads to backsliding in others. The good news, however, is that practice increases willpower capacity, so that in the long run, buying less now may improve our ability to achieve future goals.
…
“The brain’s store of willpower is depleted when people control their thoughts, feelings or impulses, or when they modify their behavior in pursuit of goals. Psychologist Roy Baumeister and others have found that people who successfully accomplish one task requiring self-control are less persistent on a second, seemingly unrelated task.
…
“Focusing on success is important because willpower can grow in the long term. Like a muscle, willpower seems to become stronger with use. The idea of exercising willpower is seen in military boot camp, where recruits are trained to overcome one challenge after another.”

This totally makes sense to me. I find that if I complete one task toward writing my paper—for example, reading an article—I can hardly bring myself to keep going and read a second article, or make notes, or work on my outline. After reading this, I realize that it is not really fair of me to kick myself for not powering through. On the other hand, I should be aware of this tendency to fag out and should take steps to train my willpower in this area.

"It is a delicious thing to write, to be no longer yourself but to move in an entire universe of your own creating." Gustave Flaubert

Janet Reid, literary agent, has some excellent advice on her blog about making mistakes. She makes a good point that the fear of making mistakes is actually more deadly than the mistakes themselves.

I got this from WesTexGirl, and I am just not sure about the results. Dash, eh? Somehow I feel more like a semi-colon.

Dein Ergebnis:: Dash

You scored 23% Sociability and 52% Sophistication!

There's no denying that you have a certain flair. You don't mind being around others, especially your little brother, the hyphen, but you rarely emerge except when needed. You respond well to those who know how to treat you, but have only contempt for those who don't--you tend to embarass them every chance you get. Your only enemy is the colon--he will sometimes try to move in on your turf.

Link: The Which Punctuation Mark Are You Test written by Gazda on OkCupid Kostenloses Online Dating, home of the Der Dating Typ Test View My Profile(Gazda)

So I am sitting here beating my head against a works cited list I am wrestling into shape, and I look up to see that it is snowing. *here is where my mouth falls open* It's not sticking, of course, because it has been too warm since about January, but that's not stopping it from falling. There are quite a few big chunks of snow, too, as big as the end of my thumb. Now I'm glad we started our seeds in the sunroom instead of on the balcony. I just hope that Hannah is eating her lunch indoors today.

Well, gentle reader, Kee and I are now officially on hiatus until after April 1. She is neck-deep in tax season, and I am off to the States for a lovely (too-short) visit.

Maybe there will be something to report after I get back.

Have a nice Easter!

I've made a decision.

I can't keep up with everything right now, so I'm going to stop sending my stuff for a while. I'll probably even stop checking the internet, too.

It won't be forever, but I just don't have enough time in the day to do it all and still have time to sleep. Since I've been fighting some kind of mongo headache for the last week and a half (it's not a migraine, sinus, or my blood pressure so it must be stress), I need as much rest as possible so I can function at an acceptable level.

Think of me while I'm exiled.

Writing the last page of the first draft is the most enjoyable moment in writing. It's one of the most enjoyable moments in life, period. -Nicholas Sparks, author (1965- )

I was too tired to post Monday after I finished working. I am only working tonight until it's time to put the laundry in the dryer, but I thought I better check in.

It's been a crapfest around here lately but at least there's plenty of motivation to be a rich and famous writer. I may hold off doing any of my other web lurking until I get some more of what's in my head down on paper. So if you don't hear from me for a while, it's not because I'm goofing off.

Oh, and isn't there some kind of eclipse tonight? Isn't that like a sign of the wrath of the heavens, an indicator of a major disturbance of the universe, a precursor to a significant cosmic event? Like, oh, say, someone fixing to turn 36. Holy schmoe.

After hearing from my instructor that my paper was ready to pick up, I decided that the best way to prepare for bearding the beast in its den (or office, as the case may be) would be for me to reread the paper in question. It had been a whole semester since I had turned it in, and I wasn’t even completely sure anymore what was in there.

You have to understand—I HATE rereading my own writing. Just contemplating it fills me with a feeling of dread. I know I have to do it—eventually—but I’d rather have all my skin grated off with a rusty cheese grater.

And to add another layer of weird to the crazy cake, I swing between thinking it is going to be a steaming pile of crap and thinking it might be the best thing my instructor got that semester. (I know—see crazy, above.)

As I finally read back over it, I noticed some typos, a few misused words, a few places I could have done a better job of explaining and organizing, but all in all, it was o.k. And I was satisfied with that.

Forward to this morning, waiting for the line outside the instructor’s office to dwindle. I was able to get some reading in for my paper-in-progress and not freak out too much, at least not until I was the last one outside the door. This is the instructor who can eviscerate you with her direct manner and constructive criticism, without really intending to. But she didn’t say anything about my paper that I didn’t already know, and she gave me some useful feedback I can apply to my current paper and my future thesis. And she gave me a 2 (roughly a high B). So I am more than satisfied with my grade (I would have been happy with a 3), and highly relieved that it’s over.

One down, two to go.

Kee sent me the following:

For Feb. 11
"I am so proud of me. I missed posting last Wed but that doesn't mean I didn't work. I've been going strong. In fact, I just had a monster session. 1300 NEW words AND I reused a scene that I thought I was going to have to scrap because it didn't make sense anymore. It just all kinda came together."

For Feb. 13
"I do have some new stuff tonight, but it's not fine tuned cause I just needed to 'block' the rest of what's been in my head. So it doesn't make sense to anybody but me right now. Maybe Monday it'll be ready."

So she is really getting the words onto paper.

Go, Kee!

Kee has been super busy with her day job, so she hasn't had much time for getting on the Internet at home, mostly because she's been getting so much writing in! Yay, Kee! She is keeping me posted via email, and I'll try to pass on the updates here, in case anyone is following along at home.

I fell asleep while reading for my paper this afternoon. It may have been because I was sitting in a delicious bath of sunlight, or because I seem to be fighting off a cold, but I had to make it official and get in the bed for a nap. So progress on the paper is happening, but slowly.

And I just got an email that a previous paper has been read and I should come by my prof's office hour. Now I am pants-pissingly worried. Oh, well, too late for that now.

Link of the day:

Nancy Pickard offers some tips on rewriting based on using your senses.

I'm sorry I've sort of "disappeared" from around here. I haven't really had much to say because 1) Kee was on a work/holiday hiatus, and 2) I wasn't writing anything myself, either. But now Kee is back, and I--well, I'm not writing, but I AM working.

I am sure that none of you have ever been late with a paper before *cough*, but the later it is, the more you feel like you have to have something really fantastic in hand before you can talk to your instructor about it, and the more pressure you feel to produce something extra super fabulous. (I am sure I read a much better description of this over at Bitch PhD, but I couldn’t find it today despite *cough* too much time spent reading her archives.) When you find yourself in this situation, the only way out of it is to sack up and go talk to your instructor, like I did last week.

Unfortunately, my discussion with her was completely the opposite of extra super fabulous. It was like I was channeling Ralphie at Santa’s workshop in the department store: Paper? What’s a paper?! I may have made a bit of an ass of myself, but what else is new. The look on her face when I was describing my totally un-do-able idea for a paper topic had the same effect as Santa’s elf trying to push Ralphie down the slide after he mumblingly agreed to a football: Ack! I take it back! Except my idea for a do-able topic—one I had a note about on my laptop--didn’t occur to me until I got to the bus stop. Since then, I’ve been going through the literature I already have on hand, trying to ferret out useful information.

I’ve realized 2 things recently that have really helped me wrap my mind around this paper-thing:
1. I had to ask myself: “Why am I doing something I don’t like?” And then I remembered: I *do* like learning! Then why the hell am I acting like it is the worst thing I’ve ever been asked to do?
2. Writing this paper doesn’t mean I have to reinvent the wheel. As a matter of fact, it is a seminar paper, not a master’s thesis; it doesn’t even have to be original. I just have to come up with a question and use the available literature to find a reasonable answer.
With these 2 things squared away, I feel like I’ve made the proper mental adjustments that will let me make some progress.

Next goal: getting an outline of my (hopefully not sucky) new topic to my instructor by the end of next week. (Hannah is out of school this week, which is also the last week of the semester, so I am not going to push my luck by aiming for the end of this week.)

Just a quick check in. Hubby has been hogging the computer lately so I thought I'd post something when I could.

I've been working on my goods and have even managed some new stuff while reviewing. I am almost back to the point where I left off in Dec. When I get to that point, I'll get back to sending my stuff. This afternoon may be a great time for me to get some more work done.

I saw the news where someone's coming to see me in March. I'm sooooooo excited!!!!

The bug has bit my butt.

And I'm rockin' it for all it's worth.

Saturday was a bust around here for all of our plans. We had a sick kid so the b-ball game was a no-go and we were too "contaminated" to be around all the new babies in the family that were congregating before they left for a ski trip. (Yeah, even though we weren't invited, I'm not crying too hard on missing out on a trip with a three year old and two babies under 6 months.)

So with our germ-germy selves we did nada.

And it was such a grand day!! It seems like an open schedule was all that was needed to get motivated to get this book finished ASAP. I was having serious doubts (AGAIN) that I was wasting my time on crap, but NOT NO MO SISTAH!!! I got you guys the letter that I have been working on-so yeah for me for finishing it. And I have been spit polishing the manuscript from the beginning. And, you know what, it's not crap at all.

What's really got me excited is that I didn't have to spend tons of time re-reading it. It just flew by like reading an acutal book. Usually I would get bogged down in fixing things. Since it is going so good and my schedule at work is winding down, I came home early today to work some more. (I actually wanted to call in sick today so I could stay home but figured it would come back to bite me in the butt.)

So I'll update you tonight before I hit the hay to let you know my progress.

I AM a ROCKSTAR!!!

This is probably the best description I have ever read:

I am stunned by the announcement. To say that the news hits me like a football-sized chunk of uranium contained in a safe that has then been placed in an iron-framed grand piano and sent plummeting from the fifteenth floor window of the Institute of High Gravity Studies with a member of sixties hippie combo 'The Mamas and the Papas' tied to each leg (John Phillips having a large quantity of loose change in his pocket) followed by an antelope, a large bag of ball bearings and a parcel marked 'DANGER OF INJURY! Do Not Attempt to Lift This' would be an understatement.

Original post at Private Secret Diary.

As you'll see in the next post, I've started cleaning up the sidebar. It was getting quite cluttered and unwieldy, so it was time to move it somewhere else.

I've started moving the old links over to an archive post that will have a permanent link on the sidebar. I'll probably add a new links section to temporarily highlight additions to the list, but streamlined is the new code-word.

I hope someone besides me finds the links interesting and/or useful.

Links Useful to Writers

I've taken the rather unwieldly list of links from the sidebar and put them here with a little additional info about each one. Unfortunately, I am having trouble grouping these meaningfully, so I'm using the rather imprecise labels "Publishing Stuff", "Writing Stuff", "Romance Stuff", "Fantasy Stuff", "Linky Stuff".

Publishing Stuff

The Knight Agency Blog
The Knight Agency specializes in romance and women's fiction. This blog mainly covers new releases from the agency, not advice, but it's great for the authors they represent.

Miss Snark, the literary agent (archives)
Miss Snark, the anonymous literary agent, dished out advice (with a big side of snark) on the publishing business to clueless newbies. Her selfless and pitiless contribution will not soon be http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifforgotten.
(Kelly McCullough over at the Wyrdsmiths has indexed Miss Snark's blog, to make it easier to find what you are looking for.)

A Kossack's guide to book publishing
Part 1 - Why bad things happen to good books
Part 2 - Avoiding publishing scams
Part 3 - Literary conventions (with an emphasis on SF Conventions)
Part 4 - Book packagers
Part 5 - Submitting a manuscript
Part 6 - Publishing lists
Part 7 - Literary agents
Part 8 - Copyediting
Part 9 - Marketing and publicity
Part 10 - Outlining
Part 11 - Editing
Part 12 - Ideas
Part 13 - Contracts
Part 14 - How Writers Get Paid
Part 15 - Worldbuilding
Leigh Ronald Grossman, under the moniker Swordsmith, is a regular contributor over at Daily Kos, in additional to writing novels and teaching writing and literure. Here he tries to help break down the publishing (and to some extent writing) process into manageable chunks for the unitiated.

The Sobering Sage of Myrtle the Manuscript
Tappan King follows Myrtle the Manuscript along her labyrinthine trip through a publishing house. See what really happens to your baby when you send it out into the world!

Kit Whitfield: The Publisher-Dating Dictionary
A clever phrasebook based on Kit Whitfield’s personal experience as an editor: "Imagine that the editor or agent is a woman standing on her own in a bar. Your letter is a man approaching her with the aim of asking her for a date." She takes the kinds of language found in query letters and "translates" them into the more familiar language of dating.

Marg Gilks: How to Write a Synopsis
Basic information on writing your synopsis.

Dee-Ann Latona LeBlanc: Writing a Synopsis from the Ground Up
More information on writing different types of synopses.

Writing Stuff

Kit Whitfield: The Lexicon
Collected terms to describe some common issues in writing. Sections are titled “Points of Style”, “Scene-Setting”, “Structure”, “Handling Character”, “Series and Sequels”, “Influences”, “Critics and Feedback”, and “Living the Life”.

Debbie Notkin: Varied Ways of Looking at a Manuscript
She talks about various kinds of feedback writers look for, from critiquing to editing.

Short Stories: 10 Tips for Novice Creative Writers

Douglas Clegg’s Journal
“Three Selves, Writing Resistance, and PW”
Douglas Clegg writes about his writing process, and how it always includes a period of internal resistance before he is able to buckle down and put pen to paper.

Megan Lindholm: "How I Became A Famous Writer (A True Story"
Who knew cats could be so insightful?

Confusing Words
"Confusing Words is a collection of 3210 words that are troublesome to readers and writers. Words are grouped according to the way they are most often confused or misused."

Columbia Journalism Review: Language Corner
Resources for English usage.

Marion Zimmer Bradley Literary Works Trust
Various articles on writing, including "Advice to New Writers", "Grammar", "Translations from the Editorial", and "Why Did My Story Get Rejected?"

Romance Stuff

Romancing the Blog
“What if someone put together a group blog where readers, authors, and industry professionals with established blogs of their own came together to discuss topics relevant to today’s romance? And what if it was done out of love for the romance genre and not for the purpose of blatant promotion?”

Charlotte Dillon
"Charlotte Dillon's Resources for Romance Writers"

Maria Zannini: "Creating the Sizzle in Sex"

Jenna Peterson/Jess Michaels: The Passionate Pen
"Welcome to The Passionate Pen, a resource for Romance Writers who are pursuing their dream of publication."

Fantasy Stuff

David J. Parker: "The Fantasy Novelist's Exam"
"We think anybody considering writing a fantasy novel should be required to take this exam first. Answering "yes" to any one question results in failure and means that the prospective novel should be abandoned at once."

Wyrdsmiths
"A weblog for the Twin Cities area speculative fiction writers' group"

Charles Coleman Finlay: the prodigal blog

Elizabeth Bear: they must need bears

Holly Black, No Longer Dry Like a Martini

I'm here. I'm here.

It occurred to me a couple of days ago that I would have felt better about neglecting my writing-and posting-over the holidays if I had just PLANNED not to write. Instead, I ignored the impending doom that the holidays have on my normal schedule and kept thinking I'd get back to it. Then I felt guilty about it and it kept swirling around in my brain and detracting from enjoying the holidays 100%. So it was a lose-lose all because I couldn't face up to the realities that it writing would have to be low on my priorities for a while.

Speaking of, I have made some plans for the new year. And since I have read your last few posts and have lurked over to westexgirl's goodies, I thought it would be appropriate to share. First, I should say I have been hooked on watching BBC's How Clean is Your House and You Are What You Eat. From the food show, I have found some ways to incorporate a more natural and organic way of heating into our lives. I already feel better-which will be great during the next few months.

But the really big plans come from the cleaning show. With my way limited time coming up and the need to plan in me time (i.e. writing time) EVERY day, I knew I couldn't let my house pile up like it did last year. SO here's the plan, with a little background. I am pretty sure some of my procrastination about housework-it eventually gets done when someone calls to say they are coming over-has to do with the IDEA of housework. Like the IDEA that it takes a long time. That's usually what my kids moan when I tell them it's time to clean up. So with them I would set the timer on the stove for like 5 or 10 minutes and tell them they had to clean everything they could in that time. When the timer went off, they were done. It at least got some of it done and the whining stopped.

So my plan for 2008 is based on that. Every day of the week-I have some chore planned-Laundry-Mon & Wed, Picking up clutter in rooms-Tue & Thursday. Some days have two things. And I even planned my grocery shopping as one (because I hate to go-but now I have to go more regular for all the fresh food). The idea on planning the chores is that I know that day I have to do it-BUT it's ALL I HAVE to do. There is no guilt in not doing other things and there is no wondering when I'll get to those other things because they have their own day coming up. Also-nothing gets carried over-example:whatever laundry didn't get done on Monday has to wait until Wednesday. To me it's like the timer method. There's something about it in my head that says 'Just do it because it's only going to take a little bit of effort and then you're done for the day.'

It's only been a few days but it seems to be working so far. And our -even hubby and the boys- attitude about it is MUCH better. The list is up on the fridge and the boys helped make it. It's kinda got an order to it so they know they have to do each day's work. Like we can't do the floors if the clutter wasn't picked up the day before.

I know this was all more than you wanted to know about my life or my inner rationalizations, but I thought it might help you know you're not the only one who can think herself out of doing something.

When I was on a roll writing, some of my best stuff came out when I sat down and knew I ONLY had one hour to get something down to send to you. I usually got the least amount accomplished when I had all day. I had to remind myself that it didn't have to be an hour that resulted in perfect output as long as it was output. It was a very freeing feeling.

Kinda like letting the boys do more and more around the house. No, they won't make their beds or put their clothes in the drawers just like I would. But does it really matter in the long run. They will get better as they do it more.

And I will have more time to send stuff to you!!!

I finished the proofreading (21 pages of double-spaced text and 1 page of works cited), and I would just like to say BLARGH! before I turn it in.

I am thinking of updating/streamlining the links, so let me know if there is anything you'd like me to add or toss, Kee, and I'll get to work on it.

I have't got much reading done on my paper, mostly because of the proofreading, but also because I didn't feel like it yesterday, but today I am feeling more alert and spry, so I'll give it another go.

A couple of stories have started stirring around in the back of my head, not enought to capture on paper, but just enough to remind me that they're there. I don't really have the time to deal with that right now, so I guess I'll just ignore them for the time being, but it makes me kind of sad to do that. On the other hand, trying to work on them will just distract me from the stuff I *need* to be doing, so back into the broom closet they go.

I was hoping to have something from Kee by now *HINT HINT*, but I guess I will just have to be patient for another day or 2. But THEN I will be impatient, and I will start making snide remarks here and elsewhere... You have been warned, Kee. :-)

I have realized that I need to change the way I look at how I use my time. I have a nasty habit of looking at the clock and thinking, "Hmm, I have to leave in 3 hours, and that will just fly by, so what's the point of trying to do anything in such a short time."

That is bad.

I am a wife, mother, student, employee, and person, and my life is splintered into "small" chunks of time. I can't do much about that. But I *can* change the way I think about it. I need to look at my chunks of free time and say, "This is what I need to work on. I might not be able to finish the whole thing, but I bet I can do a lot."

I guess I could call this a resolution, but it is an ongoing problem that I have been thinking about for a while.

Yesterday I got up and read a chapter for my paper, proofread 7 pages of an article for a professor, and studied German. I know I could have gotten more reading or proofreading in, but another bad habit I need to deep-six is resting on my laurels when I accomplish anything. I lose my momentum and have to work myself back up to actually doing anything, and then I congratulate myself by doing nothing, and then it is a vicious cycle that prevents me from finishing anything.

So, baby steps, Nee. Step 1: finish this up and get back to proofreading.

Kee, send me something, even if it is only notes.

I talked to Kee yesterday, and she promised me that her New Year's resolution is to finish her novel, come hell or high water. I know she has it in her, so it is just a matter of getting back in the habit of sitting down at the computer and putting words on the screen, which sounds way easier than it actually is, especially when you come from a long line of procrastinators like us.*

And I am determined to finish my paper. This morning I got up early (for vacation) and read through the first chapter of a book on the linguistics of space. I have a lot more to read, but so far I have just been copying and collecting articles and chapters. I bought a new binder yesterday for my materials, and to get in, the article has to be read. I'll keep everyone posted on my progress, because that is the only thing that might help me keep my nose to the grindstone.

Well, not the only thing, because John bought me this lovely little laptop for xmas:



I am still getting the feel of it, but I loaded the software from our internet provider, so I can at least get online with it if needed. But I don't plan on doing more than uploading my blog posts from here. The laptop hadn't come in yet on xmas, so John gave me a card with an evil xmas squirrel on the front and a picture of the laptop on the inside, and then he told me that he thought I could use it, what with all my writing projects.
Subtext = Get off your ass and get to work.
Except John is too sweet to put it like that, even if that is what it comes down to. But I don't plan on letting him down, so full steam ahead, and all that!

*My father once bought a car when I was 13?14? to fix up for me to drive when I got my license, and it had to be towed to the house he moved to when I was already married.

As much as I would like to whine and bitch and moan, it would be very unbecoming of me. I promised Kee a while back that I'd put up a link to a blog post by Elizabeth Bear, detailing her workload for a two-year period.

"My to-do list for the next two years, not counting CEMs, galleys, editorial rewrites, reading about a hundred books, and other unpredictable thingies...."

A frightening list that adds up to roughly half-a-million words.

She also writes non-fiction in the form of magazine articles and is a prodigious blogger. Writing is now her full-time job.

Here's a little place-warmer:

"The great thing about reading books is that it makes us better than cats. Cats are said to have nine lives. What is that compared to the girl, boy, man, woman who reads books? A book read is a life added to one’s own. So it takes only nine books to make cats look at you with envy." (Yann Martel)

I am working on a presentation to give on Thursday, and I've written three different introductions, and they all still sound like suck. I am gradually sliding into apathy, which is not good since I just crawled out of it this morning.

With that said, I just wanted to give all 2 of you a heads up that I am officially withdrawing from the Internet (including email) during the week. I have written in my journal, in large, unmissible letters, that I am no longer allowed on the Internet without a to-do list. I just can't be trusted not to piss away my time reading about the relative lameness of the various Olympic mascots.

If you desperately need me in the meantime, cc John so he'll pass on the message, or call me.

Oh, poor little neglected blog. Kee has been dutifully plugging away on her writing, and I have just been scraping along on everything else. My paper is still in the planning/reading phase, not actually the writing phase yet, but I am making (very slow) progress. As John pointed out, I can't actually apply to take my exams/write my thesis until I get this behind me, so it is now a top priority. Except for this stupid class I'm teaching. It is getting hard to get excited about it since half the original students have dropped, and the technology craps on me. every. single. week. Bleah!

(Inspiring stuff, no?)

Well, it's been a SUPER busy weekend. In fact, it was so crazy that W made himself sick, literally. Too much football + too much friends + too much fun=too much fever. So I didn't get to work on much Sunday night and then he stayed home today and with juggling trying to work some at the office (thanks shortened work week due to Thanksgiving)and worrying that he was running another fever, I am just now sitting down to work on my writing.

And I forsee a small installment. I kinda just want to zip through this part because the next two parts are AWESOME, says me, but I know that my critics will not let me slide on sloppy work. So I guess I need to just get to it.

At least I am not trying to teach a bunch of people how to use power point.

Take 3 (flash fiction):
Frosty bided his time, waiting for the last item to complete his transformation, but was dismayed that it would take the form of an old top hat.

Let's see:

My teaching went a lot better yesterday than 2 weeks ago. *falls to knees weeping and thanking the 7 Dwarfs* Next week's class should be pretty fun--teaching them how to use PowerPoint--so there is not quite as much stress when I think about preparing for it.

My presentation today went ok, I guess. I didn't feel like I made a complete ass of myself, and my teacher didn't grimace or write a lot of notes while I spoke, so I consider that a success.

With all the prep for just those two things, I have hardly had a free minute for myself, so I am spending a little time this afternoon seeing to my babies (blog 1 and blog 2). *g*

Also, I am experimenting with a form of flash fiction, since I hardly have time to write anything, much less think up something story-length. Here is my first, and somewhat lame, stab at it:

The children thought the magic was in the old silk hat, but Frosty knew the act of completion was the magic. He was one hat away from resurrection and revenge.
(30 words)

Take 2:

Frosty bided his time, waiting for the last item to complete his transformation. Not a silk top hat!
(18 words)

I think I like the second one better. And now I am GOING TO READ FOR MY PAPER! (Yes, that is an event that must be expressed in all-caps.)

Kee, I'll probably tackle your Monday and Wednesday work both tomorrow. Carry on!

I am fixing to start writing for the day. I checked in here first to see if any interesting tidbits have been left by my interesting Nee. Alas, there is nothing but an old post. Granted, I probably should have left a post before now, but I am a busy woman.

Let's just hear how busy I am. It's 8:26. I know that at 11:30 I have a hair appointment (a re-shaping on a haircut that is only two weeks old because everyone, except my college buddy, says I look sooo young and said buddy said it made me look like a mom-and she made it sound like a four-letter word. Oh, and I am getting 'subtle' highlights, well, cause my hairdresser talked me into it and I want to). I will have to drive 15 minutes to get there, spend 20 minutes changing clothes (because I just threw on workout clothes-minus a bra-to take the kids to school) and putting on make-up because I have to go in to *work* after (because I can't get crap done around there cause they can't keep their computers and software in working order which sucks cause they are a 'paperless' office-which means they do everything electronically-well, if their software worked.)

SOOOO...I have, at the latest, until 10:55 to accomplish whatever it is I think I can get done this morning. Which might be all the writing I get done before 9 tonight when I will attempt to try some more if I don't fall asleep at the computer-which I did last night.

Okay knowing all of this, that my time-on my day off!-is limited-what have I done to get hard at work.

1. Take the boys to school-do it everyday-not really a procrastination.
2. Start a load of laundry. Needed to do it-R had an accident. But that means at some point I will have to stop and put it in the dryer and that means taking the stuff that is currently living there out and finding it, and the rest of the stuff on my laundry room counter, a home.
3. I have checked MSN homepage-cause something really important might have happened in the gossip world of movie stars that might effect me personally.
4. I have checked 3 of my regular blog sites to find if there is anything there that is more interesting than my life-not hard to do. But like I said, one was void of the interesting tidbit. One had a post I had already seen when I checked before-during-the time I fell asleep at the computer last night. One made me laugh, think, and to offer here my excellent, I am told, handyman skills and ability to take instructions to anyone out there who might need an extra set of hands and encouraging presence to complete, oh I don't know, some project of some kind that might be related to finally completing something that has been lurking in the remodeling-I-want-to-do-someday category (I've lived half-my life in that category so I know it well). You know I do have *two* days off a week. (Supposed to have anyway.)
5. I have made myself a cup of tea.
6. I have eaten my organic whole wheat flaxseed waffle.
7. I have written this post.
8. I still have no idea how to proceed with my next section and am afraid of screwing up the direction I am not really sure I am in anymore.

It is now 8:55.

So... after taking a week off, Kee has got right back in the writing fray with new/revised materials this week. She kept up with her goal of working on Monday and Wednesday, and she was even able to step outside her safety zone and ask for help. I must say, she is progressing nicely.

I have a lot to do, and am getting a lot done, but it is going to take a while to get the pile completely whacked. There hasn't really been time for creative writing, but I know it is still bubbling away in my brain, because ideas rise to the surface when my brain is not otherwise occupied, such as in the shower or walking to class. Maybe some day I'll have time to capture a few ideas on paper, but I'm not getting too antsy about it yet.

I'm not sure I want to teach again next semester. It takes so much time to prepare, and I will be writing my thesis and studying for my exams. But then again, it occurred to me that I have already done all the work, and if I can offer the same topic, the bulk of the preparation will already be done. I'll wait and see if I get asked back.

Here's my to-do list for this semester, not including for the class I am teaching:
write 1 paper (still overdue from last semester :-0)
give 2 presentations
do a write-up of 1 90-minute class
find an advisor for my thesis
start brain-storming exam topics

Ok, now I will stop before my brain explodes. I am trying to keep my paper list limited to the most pressing items, just to prevent myself from going mad. It may be unavoidable. ;-P

I never intended to be an absentee parent to this blog, so I guess I ought to start contributing my share to the work around here. (Don't feel bad, little writing blog, I've been neglecting my other blogs, too.)

I've mostly been working recently and trying to (and managing to!) keep up with my classes. I edited a 10-page paper--for money!--and have another 14 pages waiting for me. I would quit school in a heartbeat if I could find a full-time editing gig, but since that's probably not going to fall into my lap (despite the mini-jobs that keep popping up fortuitously), I guess I should just be satisfied with the occasional work in the field.

Teaching didn't go so well last week. I thought I was prepared, but everything just fell flat. That means I am working extra hard this weekend to get next week's tutoring and teaching set up.

I have managed to keep up with reading for my classes--it didn't hurt that one teacher was out sick last week--but I have some assignments due soon that I need to get to work on.

I was mentioning on my other blog the bad mood I've been in, and how Friday was the low-point. Oddly enough, Friday was also the day I had a new idea about my Godred story that I think is going to mean an improvement. I've had all the bits of the story floating around in my head, but I hadn't really gotten them nailed down in the right order. I think I finally have a handle on that with this new idea. I haven't written much on it, but words were put on paper, so I will take what I have and run with it.

Back to class-prep for next week.

I thought I better post something. It's been a rough week around here, real life and writing life too. I had wanted to have lots more done but, alas, have not been able to produce anything to speak of.

But since my seestor has advised me not to worry about said lack of work, I will take that and run with it. Hopefully, I can manage to weed out my thoughts and put some useful stuff on paper next week. But until then, well, I'm not expecting any miracles.

By the way, I'm off to the land of shopping. If you've been good little boys and girls, maybe Santa will visit you.

I haven't stopped by the last couple of times I have sent in work. Mostly because I have been so cross eyed after that I go straight to bed. But since the laundry will take a few more minutes before I can switch it, here I am.

I have worked daily since my last report on the block of work I sent in tonight. I kept thinking I'd get to the end and it kept growing. What I like so much about what I am doing with the story is that it seems I've gotten back to the characters that have been living in my head. I think I got away from them in an effort to "improve" it. Now it's like-Hey. Don't write it like that. That's not how I sound. Write it this way.--And out it pops. Well sometimes there is more fretting than that, usually over deleting a good line because it doesn't fit anymore. But in the end I give up and hit the delete key thinking-if this is what they want, this is what they get. And I think it's turned out well so far.

I really think I'd be okay if it never got published. It's something I can be proud of regardless.

At least the first 59 pages.

Ok, this is totally not writing-related, but I wanted to just rub it in that I have already bought AND WRAPPED my first xmas presents. Ha ha! I pwn'ed you, Kee! I'm the xmas-master now! BWA HA HA!

Back to my onion soup cookery.

Whew! I made it through my first class (the first session of the class I am teaching, that is) without crashing and burning. Yay, me! Still, it felt weird to see a person who attended class with me 2 semesters ago attending a class I am now teaching.

I spent a little time messing around with my Cinderella story, but it still feels off, so I am letting it stew a bit. Otherwise I have been trying to tidy up my travel blog, stop neglecting my regular blog, and whip together a final syllabus for the class I am teaching, in addition to a number of other little, householdy things.

The back-burner paper is slowly inching up toward a front burner--at least it is back in the kitchen. :-)

Kee sent me her Monday work, with the comment, "I had to make myself spend an hour working on this tonight even though I wanted to go to bed for a week." But she made it to the end of Chapter 3, forced or not. Yay, Kee! Sticking to it is what makes you a writer, not a "want-er".

John kindly pointed out that there were a few places in my Rapunzel story that could use a little smoothing out, but I don't think I'm going to mess with it for now. But, he was also a little unsure about the ending, and I was already thinking I had let a bit of useful information fall through the cracks there, so I went back and revised just a tiny bit of the end.

About the actual production of my story[1]: I sat down and wrote 7 pages long-hand, about 1000 words, before lunch. Then I took a shower and started typing it up. I sat and typed until 4, when I posted it here. Somehow, I feel more positive about the bit I pounded out by hand than the bit I typed as I went. Composing the story didn't actually go any faster once I was typing, but that might be because I had more specific ideas about how the first part went. Well, no, it all seemed to be the same level of specificity at first, and I fleshed it out as I went along. Maybe it was just the further you get into writing the story, the more that has to conform to what came earlier.

One thing I noticed was that there was a *lot* more narrative in this story and a *lot* less dialogue than is my usual m.o., but even after re-reading it several times, it doesn't feel too "tell-y", at least not to me.

Anyhoo, one thing I realized when I was done: Kee's Mondays and Wednesdays are probably going a lot differently than I had been imagining (even though I also "write"). In Nee's little fantasy world, Kee was dropping her kids off at school, exercising at the Y, going home, and writing until lunch or her kids got home from school. To be managing the kind of output she has sent me the last few times, she has got to be spending the whole day (after her first two errands) in front of the computer. You would think her notes that she was falling asleep at the computer or was stopping just to go to bed would have clued me in, but I am notoriously dense. *g* So Kee gets an extra dose of respect for sticking to it!

An unexpected side effect of all that writing was that it seemed to prime the pump for me working on other things I had been putting off, like preparing for the class I'll be teaching this fall. (Of course, I can't use the phrase "prime the pump" around John anymore because he willfully misunderstands me and offers to help. *g*) The effect has even lasted to this morning; I have been crossing stuff off my to-do lists like a crazy, list-doing mofo. Isn't it weird that working hard makes you want to work hard, or is it just me?

[1] I hope this whole post doesn't come off like a mom retelling the story of her labor and delivery at every possible opportunity, and her kid is 10 years old. *ahem* Although this blog is kind of the most appropriate place for that kind of self-referential, one-sided conversation.

This post is probably going to come out of left field, but here goes. I want to write, and I enjoy writing, but I don't think I'm ever going to be a "writer" with a capital W. For one thing, the things I want to write... I don't think people really want to pay to read. But it turns out that I am ok with that. So this morning, I was cleaning the bathroom, and my brain took Rapunzel and squeezed it through the Nee-O-Matic and came up with the following. I have been writing on it almost straight through since about 9:15 this morning and have 2449 words I am not ashamed to call my own. Damn! I didn't think of a title. Oh, well.

***
[removed 10.10.09]

I have fallen asleep twice on the computer so I am giving in for the night. I have sent my goods and feel great at where I am at in the process.

I'll be back Wed night.

I have had such great support from my accountability partners even though there is a lot going on in their own lives.

I hope I have done them proud by sending them a huge chunk of work tonight. If I keep up that same amount each time, I estimate that I should be done in 15 weeks. Ugh.

Hopefully, it won't take that long.

But then again, I haven't gotten so far on my own in the last 4 years!

Thanks ladies!

Just checking in to say I got Kee's work from yesterday, and the squirrels are all safely back in their cages.

I have been trying to finish up blogging our Scotland trip and a few odds and ends, but otherwise I have been a slug. *bleargh*

I didn't especially feel like writing today. But I made myself sit down and do it anyway because two people are expecting to get some new stuff from me.

It turned out to be one of the most productive days I have had in a long time. The word count was high, the ideas flowed, transitions were good, and the symmetry was there. And best of all, I don't feel like I have to go back and fix a bunch of stuff.

I just hope that this really is so much better than my first bloody attempts at putting pen to paper.