1710

Word count update. I know I'm creeping along, but any progress is something.

Mosey-ing along

I'm trying to work on that editing I mentioned, but every time I hit up against a snarl of prose, which is almost every paragraph, I find it hard to keep going and end up turning to the Internet to distract me. Not a good mode of working, I must say. (Also, the reason I'm here right now.)

Yesterday I had to go into town for my office hour and some errands, and I ended up having a relatively productive day. I got my errands done, I got some course-related work done (not all, but a satisfying amount), and I managed to put some time in on the train writing on my story. Well, not "writing" in the sense of "prose stylings conveying a plot, etc.", but "writing" in the sense of jotting down several important things that have to happen in the story and ideas for scenes that could possibly manage to do that. It wasn't as highly structured as an outline, but in that direction.

That bit of blocking, planning, whatever you want to call it seemed to get my brain moving again, and the next bit of the story--I already knew *what* I wanted to happen, but not *how*--got jiggled loose, so I was able to put some actual story-words down on paper.

But now I need to get back to my day job and see if I can't get more knocked out before making a metric ass-ton of pesto from John's denuding of our garden.

Almost caught up

When the semester was over, I turned to a bunch of stuff that had been on the back burner and got it all done. But then it was really hard to turn back to the pile of grading that was waiting for me. I had a deadline, but I ended up working right up to the deadline, staying up late and getting up early, just to get done. (Which is my usual m.o. *sadface*)

I woke up on Friday, I think, and thought, "I am done with everything! I don't owe *anyone* *anything*!" And then I remembered that I actually promised to edit a self-published book for a friend. *Crap!* But I have some time before the semester starts, and I am planning on spending all of next week working on it.

After that, I have some plans for my classes next semester to work on, etc.

I have been having a hard time getting back into a headspace for writing. I keep going back and rereading what I've already typed up, trying to get back into the swing of the story, but it feels like it is just beyond my reach at the moment. Part of the problem is that I had a flight of fantasy in one direction, but it occurred to me that my original direction is probably more do-able for this story. I think I need to keep it tight, so to speak, and not let it run wild like a weedy garden. But anyhow, I may take my notepad downstairs (away from the siren call of the Internet) while John is off hiking and Hannah is studying and try some brainstorming of plot elements. If the words come, then, fine; if not, I will still have some ideas to work with.

1237

1237. That's how many words I have written on the novel I've taken over. Right now I'm mulling over what it is I want to write next, but I definitely have ideas about backstory and setting. The problem is plot. Some of the plot is going to remain the same as the original, but some will change. I don't know if I have enough ideas to fill in the holes, but maybe I need to start jotting the ideas I already have into some kind of outline.

Speaking of jotting, I've already filled over a dozen pages out this notebook with notes and actual words (well over the 1237 I mentioned above, but lots got chopped out and/or revised).

(The other stuff in the photo is for scale.)

I've found that a notebook this size is a lot easier to tote around than a full-sized notebook, and I can pull out pages after I've typed them up (which I find to be a very satisfying ritual while writing).

Not pictured: my Kindle, where I put the updated pages and earlier versions to refer to while I am writing the next section. I love writing by hand but have to admit that having an electronic version handy is more useful for referring back to previous work, as you may be able to tell from this sample:


So that is why I didn't manage to update here--I was actually writing!

How do I write? Let me count the ways... 2

Wow--if it is going to take me 3 weeks to make a new entry, this blog is not going to be very active. Not that it had been very active...

When I last posted, I was starting to have that writing "itch". Part of it was the need to siphon some of the thoughts out of my head; part of it was the need to feel like I could still put words on paper in a coherent manner; but part of it was a novel Kee had written and put in a drawer, lo, these many years ago. Her characters started poking me in the brain last fall, and they had been stewing in there ever since. So I put on my big girl panties and asked her if she would mind if I took a stab at revising her novel. She was generous to say yes, and that went into the stewpot, too.

Like I said, the stewpot bubbled for months before I had time to turn to do anything about it. I still have a bunch of grading to do, but now the stewpot is starting to boil over, and I am afraid that if I don't get in there and work on it, it will boil away. (Not the best metaphor ever, but work with me here.) Yesterday I actually got words on paper--the train is the best place to write, I must say--and I kind of got a high off it. Yes, I scratched things through and moved things around--it wasn't a Romantic outporing of inspiration, it was hard work, but that hard work was *so* satisfying.

Now I am trying to decide if I want to keep writing longhand straight through, or if I should type up what I have each day before starting on the next bit, or if I should wait for a chapter break, etc. So many decisions! I'm just afraid that some premature typing would derail me. And there is the answer--as long as I can keep the plot of what has already happened in my head, I'll just keep writing. If I reach a sticking point or can't remember what I've already said, I'll go back and type it up to refresh my memory and give me a chance to think ahead.

How do I write? Let me count the ways... 1

I've been dragging around a paper journal for quite a while now, but I mainly use it for 2 things--complaining about myself and making lists.

I like making lists, and making them makes me feel in control, so that is not actually a problem. But on the other hand, if I put more on my lists than I can reasonably accomplish, I beat myself up about the lack of accomplishment rather than try to figure out what is a reasonable amount to accomplish in one day and how to schedule the other items on other days.

I bought a book, Getting Things Done by David Allen, that was recommended to me to help with organization, but a lot of it is aimed at managers, so I haven't actually finished it yet. One thing that was somewhat helpful, though, was his argument that unfinished tasks--whether big or small--prey on our minds, even when we are not consciously thinking about them; to counter this, he suggests making a master to-do list as a way of siphoning off this unconscious worrying. I have to admit that this has actually worked as promised: I don't feel like I am flying apart all the time. But I am not good about going back and reviewing the list on a regular basis to see what must or can be fitted into my upcoming schedule.

The other problem with the master list is that I don't know where I should put it. I mean that literally--I have been keeping it in the back of my paper journal, but since I am not actually reviewing it or updating it on a regular basis, there is really no need for me to be dragging around those extra pages. Also, whenever I fill a journal, I have to copy those pages into the new one or cut them out and tape them in. I tried putting the master list on index cards in a filing box, but I have not opened the box even once since I spent a whole afternoon arranging it.

I like it when I can approach things in a systematic way, I just have not been able to work out a good system yet, and that is what drives me crazy. I really like the feeling of writing things out by hand, which is one of the main reasons why I drag around a paper journal, and I also want to have something that is readily available for my note- and list-making. But searching back through my notes is made that much harder by having everything jumbled together on paper. I am too lazy to go back and type up my journal, and frankly, most of it is moaning, so I don't really want to type up most of it.

And now I seem to have lost control of any argument I might have been trying to make.

***

Obviously, this blog has been defunct for a *very* long time now. I don't think either of us has done much writing to speak of, or none that we are ready to talk about yet, so I am going to highjack this space for my own purposes, which are mainly to get back in the habit of expository writing. So don't expect much entertainment value.

So you think you can write

Hell yeah, I think I can write.

Sorry...just got jazzed up watching So You Think You Can Dance. I have always wanted to move like that. I love watching those shows that push people to their limits. It motivates you. So much so that I actually was doing push ups during the commercials. Granted, I can only do like 3 at a time cause all the blood rushes to my face and I try to hyperventilate (do you think that's normal for a push up?). But I try.

The same with my writing. I read because it motivates me to write. There are a couple of reasons I can think of why this happens. The first is that when I read something *really* bad, I get pissed knowing that if something that bad got published then my stuff has a chance, too. Not entirely logical, but motivational nonetheless.

The second reason I find I reading motivational is for the jumpstart. Escaping into someone else's writing is like priming my mind to escape into the world I created in my own writing. I realize I need that transition from reality into my writing bubble. So I take it.

But time is limited. Somedays I don't have time to read. That's when everyone suffers. I almost have a physical need to read, or maybe it's the need for the mental escape. I feel twitchy, anxious, short-tempered, and all-around bitchy when I can't read even a few lines of a new book. That's when pulling out the re-reads takes the edge off. Those are the few books that I liked so much I bought (versus the well-used library card), and read over and over. Just reading a scene from one of those brings the rest of the story to mind and lets me escape into it.

Someday I would love to be the author of someone's go-to re-read book.

How cool would that be.

Back up a sec... (correction to previous post)

While walking to physical therapy this morning, it occurred to me that part of what I wrote in my last post might be misconstrued. Just to be clear, I wasn't trying to say that someone has to be a reader in my genre to "get" what I am writing. Hell, I couldn't even say what genre I am writing in beyond "fantasy". And that encompasses a wide range of sub-genres, just like romance does.

One reason I went back and made changes was because I obviously hadn't done a good job of conveying the mood or tone I had in mind, not because of Kee's personal expectations. If I had done my job correctly, I would have been able to pull her in *despite* her expectations. So obviously I flubbed that somehow.

For now, I am going to go back to my earliest inclinations--to just write what is going on--for the first draft, and then to consciously go back and look for places where more info is needed. I don't think I could sustain that through an entire manuscript, and maybe I'll get better at doing both at the same time as I go, but I think I can manage it scene by scene. It's someplace to start, at least.

Second step, tell it it's the story you're dreaming of

It's been almost a month since the last time I had a chunk to send my seestor to look at. Truly, I am the tortoise of writers.

But I managed to send her another chunk earlier this week, and she's got back to me with her comments, and now I am digesting. Here's what I have come up with:

To be perfectly honest, I did feel a twinge of disappointment initially when I saw that Kee hadn't responded by going into raptures over my glorious prose. ;-) Hey, I am only human and a newbie to boot. Perhaps one day I'll be a hard-bitten writer who doesn't give a crap (actually, I hope not), but not today. But I got over that in about 5 minutes. What's the point in asking for someone's honest opinion if you are not going to listen to it?

I've read before, usually on a more experienced writer's site, that negative reviews are actually the most useful, because they give you another perspective on your work. I've also read that getting feedback from people who don't read in your genre can also be useful, for basically the same reason. I'm not saying that Kee trashed my work, but she was able to point out what wasn't working for her and why.

I found some of the reasons interesting, because she seemed to have a different expectation of the tone than I do. I think part of that goes back to the genre thing I mentioned. She sees that my protagonist is a werewolf, and that leads her, as someone who doesn't read fantasy, to expect certain things. There's nothing wrong with that. Everyone has their own ideas about what belongs to which genre. Unfortunately, since this is a work in progress, and one that hasn't been mapped out in advance, I couldn't provide her with a handy blurb to help her set her expectations, the way I could for a finished work I was trying to pitch to an agent or that was being marketed for sale. I have a friend who asked me to read her first 3 chapters recently, and she was able to provide just such a blurb, and it was extremely helpful to me, because then I could tell her if I thought she had hit her target with the actual writing. Maybe that is something I should work on for my manuscript, too, if only for my own use.

In a recent post, I reminded myself "not to be afraid of 'telling'." But I am afraid I had veered too far in the other direction in my more recent writing. And a big chunk of what I had added--she said with a blush--was shamelessly ripped off from my own family. That is *not* the kind of writing I want to perpetrate on the world.

*chop chop chop*

Finally--and the most heinous sin in my personal catalog of writers' sins--I found my last paragraph wallowing in melodrama. Oh. Hell. No.

*chop, douse with gasoline, set on fire, cauterize previous passage*

I know Kee was worried about hurting my feelings or making me mad, but I can do those things to myself with my own writing, thank you very much. But sometimes I need someone to scrape the rose tinting off my glasses so I can see what is right in front of me.

So for that, I tip my hat to you, Kee.

WTF Blogger...

I have had two comments for Nee that were eaten by Blogger. On the first one, I later heard scuttle that all of Blogger went phooie and mine was not the only to disappear. The second one could have been operator error while attempting to post via cell phone.

Nevertheless, I couldn't remember specifics so that I could repost.

I'm off to work but had one bit of wisdom to share. I keep repeating this to myself everyday. "If you're not making progress every day, you will never get to the future you want."

It's been making me actually work on the manuscript I carry with me instead of leaving it in my purse for the next day.

Put-putting along

My output of "official" writing (my Word doc) slowed to a standstill once I hit 1200 words, but I am still jotting notes and individual sentences in my journal for the next bit of this chapter, so I am not dissatisfied with my progress at the moment.

I spent most of yesterday working on a business web site. Our internet service contract includes one free web site, so I am going to get a site for my editing business up and running right away. It will take me a little longer to get the text written for a German-language translation site, but then I would like to have one site that directs to the two options--editing or translating. So that is where my creative efforts are going at the moment, but I hope to be able to switch gears this afternoon and get back to fiction writing.

I changed the background of our blog (duh!), but am not sure I like it. Any feedback, dear readers/seestors?

Surfing instead of writing *sigh*

I read a great post over at The Intern just now about how we as writers shouldn't compare ourselves to other writers. Here's the take-away quote (emphasis added):

You write what you write. You are what you are. And, no matter how anxious you may be to have everybody like you, you’re not going to get there by scrambling to become what you think the world wants. You will never be young enough/old enough/smart enough/dumb enough to please everybody, so you should really just do what you love and let the world take care of itself.

I think that is something we can all keep in mind at those times when we start to lose our sense of fabulousness. Perhaps you really really really want to be published, but it is not going to happen by second-guessing what "the reader" wants. There is no such thing as THE reader, only readers: some like monkey-thrillers, some like Star Trek slash, some like cozy murder mysteries, but somewhere out there will be one or more who like what you write.

First step, take it out and treat it like a story

After more revising--always with the revising!--I sent off the first 500 words or so to Kee, and she gave me some very useful feedback. What I took away from it was a reminder not to be afraid of "telling". There has to be some narration along with all the doing and saying, or my readers are going to be left to their own devices in constructing the story. Then when they get more information later, it may clash with the stories they have in their heads, and that's where I'll lose them.

Then Kee sent me another email with a line-by-line critique, and now I feel like a giant jackass because I hadn't even realized I had mixed up 2 C-names in only 500 words. That might explain some of the confusion, DUH! I think I'll change my C-Cheryl to S-Sheryl, just to keep it from happening again. And did I mention D'OH!?

Ditto Kee

It's funny that Kee posted a link to a blog entry from Janet Reid, because I was mentally preparing a post on that very subject. So here goes...

For me, the crux of the quote by Ira Glass was this:

[Y]our taste is why your work disappoints you.

Recently, I have found myself in a rather unattractive wallowing phase, which is one reason why I haven't been posting here. I don't want to write about it, and no one wants to read about it, so why bother. But if I think back on it, I recognize that I was playing the self-blame game, and the main thing I was accusing myself of was a lack of creativity. "If only I were creative enough, I would be able to make this writing thing work."

That, to use the words of one of my characters, is total bullshit.

When I look at what was really going on, I was regularly going back and considering new scenarios, new contexts, new angles for my story, i.e., I was being creative. It's just that the new scenarios, etc., were not actually to my taste.

In my last couple of posts, I talked about things "clicking" and "falling into place", and they did, *for that particular version of the story*, but that turned out to be a version that was also not to my taste. But that doesn't mean that the effort was totally in vain. It was a good exercise in plotting.

I will admit that it was disappointing to have expended so much mental effort and then not be able to use the fruits of it, but then I remembered that I am the person who will rip out rows and rows of crochet or cross-stitch to fix a mistake, not because it would be glaringly obvious to other people, but because I would know it was there and would be dissatisfied.

I just have to keep in mind that, ultimately, my writing has to please me.

And I am happy to say that once I used my creativity--which I definitely have, thank you very much--and murdered a few of my darlings--that is to say, tossed out some firmly held ideas I still had about who was the main character of my story, etc.--I have come up with a beginning that I am excited about it. I don't have an ending yet, but I am eager to just follow and see where it takes me, and none of my beginnings so far has managed to do that.

*Note to Kee: I will probably be sending it along to you soon, short though it may be.

Hoping I bridge the gap soon

You have to read the April 29 entry. I totally believe this is true.

www.jetreidliterary.blogspot.com

Clickety Clack

"...understanding was coming so fast it seemed to have bypassed thought."

-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

That seems to be the point I have reached in my story: the big plot is falling into place, and there is so much "clicking" with various details that it is starting to sound like a zipper. I am thinking a lot of these things out in my journal/daily pages, so I am going to have to go back and look them all up to put them in one document for handy reference once the last few details--like how this sucker is going to end!--have decided to make themselves known to me.

I can only assume that my subconscious mind is busily working away at this, aided and assisted by my daydreams while jogging, showering, and dishwashing. Once I have a good idea of where this thing is going, I'll be ready to buckle down and get some writing in--by which I mean the text of the actual story, not the 3-5 pages I am already writing in my journal each day by hand. It just seems that even when I am not working, the day goes by so fast. Before I know it, Hannah is home and needs my assistance with homework, which is something I am totally dedicated to doing (see my other blog for more info, if you need it). I think once I have reached that point, though, my daily pages will shrink down to my to-do list and more small details for my story, and I can follow them up with some writing on the story itself. Sort of like my daily exercise routine: I use the balance, aerobics, and Fit Plus games on Wii Fit to warm up for jogging (I'm up to 20 minutes = 4 km a day!). I'll use my journal to warm up for writing.

I know it sounds a little naive to talk about writing I plan to do in the future (as opposed to reporting on writing I am already accomplishing), but I have noticed that if I start to think about and plan for something in advance, it is much easier to do when I get to that point. John even made fun of me for demanding that he tell me about his heretofore vague travel plans for last weekend, since it was only for a day trip. But if he wants me--and more importantly, Hannah--to go along and be a pleasant companion, I need some time to adjust my mental picture of what my weekend is going to look like. Then I can ride along and be interested and enjoy myself. Same thing with writing (and working in general): I can't concentrate on writing without knowing where I am going, but once I've got that info, I can throw myself into writing and know I am going to enjoy it.

And that's how life goes...

I thought it was weird that dearest seestor just posted when I have been thinking about her so much. Those mental vibes don't let an ocean stand in their way!

While I have been twitchy over my very first story idea, I was plumb knocked out by a partial story that I had given up on a while back. It was in the "collecting dust" pile because I just couldn't go any further. It just stopped. Dead End. Then I started thinking about it after a convo with seestor about stories within stories. And BOOM the whole rest of the story came spilling out. I've got plot galore, baby. I know how it ends, I know why it ends. I am so happy.

So needless to say. I have been furiously working on getting major points into some kind of scene blocking so that I can realistically work on it in the small chunks of time I have available.

We'll see how it goes and keep it posted.

Shaking things up

If by "shaking" you mean "stirring very slowly without letting anything slosh up the sides".

But seriously, I have added writing daily pages to my morning routine, after coffee and CNN with John but before Wii Plus, and I find I am coming to depend on it. Not only as a place to jot down my daily to-do list (which then lets me forget about it long enough to think about other things), but also as a place in which to journal some of the things that I would rather not whine about on my regular blog and to "think out loud" about my work in progress.

I am between jobs at the moment, so I am trying to ensure that I spend more time on my writing, now that I have some extra time to spend, but it is sometimes hard switching gears. Free writing each morning seems to be helping with prising the words out of my brain, but there are still plot issues and a few other things that are unresolved and that I am spending lots of my "writing" time researching or thinking about, sometimes with the help of my journal--which, by the way, looks like this:



I splurged on it for myself, and John has been totally coveting it.

My writing time hasn't been in vain, though. I have had a lot of ideas that just went "click", and I knew they were exactly right for my story. Of course, I also had an idea that when followed to its logical conclusion made my story suddenly take a left turn and become a (political) thriller, which--no. That's just not going to happen.

Well, Hannah just walked in the door, so I must sign off for now.

Twitchy...

The librarians at the local branch I go to always look at me funny when I go on another reading bender. The multiple visits in a short time, the bulging bag I drag to the counter, the long time spent reading cover blurbs, the dirty looks I give the other patrons who don't know proper library etiquette and therefore don't *gasp* speak in hushed tones. Those are all the signs that I've gone off the deep end again. Of course, I have help at the holidays when I have time off and a wonderful seestor who buys me books for Christmas!

So the reading begins and then the ideas flow and then I get twitchy to write. Then the doubt about my writing ability follows. Then another trip to the library and more twitches.

Alas the librarians don't know any of this. They just continue to look at me funny and wonder when they will see me again. Tomorrow, next week, or next month.

Wise words for more than writers

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone
can start from now and make a brand new ending.

- Carl Bard